tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-304029582024-03-19T05:58:34.737-07:00life abundant"See that at no time I forget your presence. I don't ask you to bless what I have decided to do, but give me the grace to discover and to live what you have dreamed for me." - Michel QuoistAlairhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14473829775747851107noreply@blogger.comBlogger39125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30402958.post-85370638921962133332011-05-08T11:34:00.000-07:002011-05-08T12:08:41.879-07:00<div style="text-align: center;">Sexuality</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" ><i>The young man who rings the bell at the brothel is unconsciously looking for God.</i></span></div><div style="text-align: right;"><span class="Apple-style-span" >- Bruce Marshall</span></div><div style="text-align: right;"><span class="Apple-style-span" ><br /></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" >So this isn't my usual blog. Actually, it's not very many people's usual blog. But it needs to be, because the subject of sexuality pervades our society, finds its way into almost any movie or TV show you watch and produces such a strong force over our lives.</span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" ><br /></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" >So, in the words of the great philosophers <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Salt-n-Pepa">Salt n Pepa</a>: "Let's talk about sex, baby!"</span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" ><br /></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" >When we began the sixth section of Theodyssey entitled, "Sexuality," our group briefly reverted to a <a href="http://www.pfaffenberger.org/images/PC%20Club%20Dance.jpg">junior high youth group</a>- some nervous giggles, awkward silences and gender-specific discussion groups. Why is the topic of sexuality so often met with averted eyes and nervous blushing? Because every time we discuss the many dimensions of sex and sexuality, we are treading on sacred, mysterious ground, we are a bit overwhelmed and we don't know what else to do.</span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" ><br /></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" >God created sex and sexuality out of a desire to give humanity the experience of connection, unity and self-giving love. It's more than a physical act or connection- it's about something greater. David Smith writes, "Here [sexuality], the transcendent- the sacred - happens in our midst. Mystery, Beauty, Truth and Belonging come together." Sounds great so far...until we begin to misuse the gift that we've been given.</span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" ><br /></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" >I could expand on the different ways that we misuse the gift of sex and sexuality- pornography, adulterous affairs, pre-marital sex, voyeurism...and the list goes on. Instead, I want to focus on why any of these misuses can be so dangerous to our souls, the core of who we are. </span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" ><br /></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" >To illustrate my point, I am going to use an example that our culture deems harmless yet has caused much pain for myself and many others: romantic comedies. Chick flicks, girl porn, love stories- whatever you call them, they are a prime demonstration of how the gift of sexuality is distorted, misused and abused. (David Smith outlines an incredibly detailed and accurate cycle of "sexual temptation", which is the basis for the following points.) Here we go...</span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" ><br /></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" ><b>The Lens</b>- We must begin with your "<a href="http://www.google.com/imgres?imgurl=http://buycontactlensesireland.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/04/Contact-Lens-Online.jpg&imgrefurl=http://buycontactlensesireland.com/&usg=__9OSxwU1c78uEbdXPl_d0tWLAkRA=&h=495&w=344&sz=20&hl=en&start=0&sig2=taeSprecbSPMyWVRWfnKyQ&zoom=1&tbnid=KvP8kQ-DLuD2AM:&tbnh=131&tbnw=93&ei=wefGTZiTCo2CsQOC5JyTAQ&prev=/search%3Fq%3Dcontact%2Blens%26hl%3Den%26biw%3D1278%26bih%3D679%26gbv%3D2%26tbm%3Disch&itbs=1&iact=rc&dur=366&page=1&ndsp=23&ved=1t:429,r:4,s:0&tx=40&ty=33">lens</a>". This is the way you see yourself, others and the world around you. If my lens is covered in shame, fear, guilt or self-hatred, I will see others, myself and God that way. I may deeply desire love, affirmation and approval from others, yet be unable or uncertain of how to receive that.</span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" ><br /></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" ><b>The Trigger</b>- Something sets off an internal fire alarm, waking up feelings of loneliness, pain or other negative emotions. If I don't have a strong sense of being loved and valued, I will find a way to "fix" this pain. Enter the <a href="http://www.google.com/imgres?imgurl=http://www.coupondad.net/blog/wp-content/uploads/2010/08/Redbox_Free_Codes.jpg&imgrefurl=http://www.coupondad.net/blog/redbox-free-rental-codes/&usg=__79CjSFbMjQ9A2J4xQDexwFlSnBw=&h=484&w=584&sz=100&hl=en&start=0&sig2=8FMM3H633m6J79mGcsE6fA&zoom=1&tbnid=Hfy4_CbuJOamCM:&tbnh=157&tbnw=166&ei=GejGTdO8DIG2sAO47-ChAQ&prev=/search%3Fq%3Dred%2Bbox%26um%3D1%26hl%3Den%26sa%3DN%26gbv%3D2%26biw%3D1278%26bih%3D679%26tbm%3Disch&um=1&itbs=1&iact=hc&vpx=136&vpy=136&dur=193&hovh=164&hovw=198&tx=169&ty=95&page=1&ndsp=18&ved=1t:429,r:0,s:0">Red Box</a> special. If I'm feeling especially sad or overlooked, a romantic comedy looks promising as a "cute" option to make me feel better. (Yeah, I know, this seems so incredibly logical, right?!)</span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" ><br /></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" ><b>The False Assurance</b>- We think we're strong enough. Or it won't bother us. Or it's not hurting anyone else. Or it's only one time. And we're deceived.</span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" ><br /></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" ><b>The Climb & Descent </b>- We plan, obsess, strategize and orchestrate our moves. Sometimes this is more fulfilling than the actual follow-through. We debate, rationalize, struggle, justify, deny, question, ignore...and then we give in.</span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" ><br /></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" ><b>The Bucket</b> - And then we feel awful. When I'm struggling with loneliness and I watch a movie about some perfect love story, do I feel relieved by the end? No, I feel horrible! And not only that, but I kick myself for wasting two hours on a predictable ending when I thought that <a href="http://www.nicholassparks.com/">Nicholas Sparks</a> could come up with something new this time.</span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" ><br /></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" ><b>The Lens (once again)</b> - As we're wallowing in our misery, something also happens to our lens: it gets worse. We reinforce the shame, guilt and self-hatred that we know so well (some of the worst ones could be, "I'm alone," "No one wants me," "I'm the only one who struggles with this,").</span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" ><br /></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" >So what do we do? We make our way back to sacred ground.</span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" ><br /></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" >We long for all that sexuality can provide- belonging, trust, mystery, being known. Ultimately, we find that in the One who created sexuality. Where God desires that we enjoy sex according to his plan, we can never substitute anything for the fulfillment we find in God's love.</span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" ><br /></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" >It heals our hearts when they get triggered.</span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" >It speaks truth instead of false assurances.</span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" >It invites us to wholeness rather than acting out of brokenness.</span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" >It replaces our lenses...</span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" >and it frees us from what seems like a never-ending cycle.</span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" ><br /></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" >How's that for talking about the birds and the bees.</span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" ><br /></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" >alair</span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" ><br /></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" ><br /></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" ><br /></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" ><br /></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" ><br /></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" ><br /></span></div>Alairhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14473829775747851107noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30402958.post-58225657369107614932011-04-02T11:31:00.000-07:002011-04-02T11:51:35.402-07:00<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgiUMr-VmQRHQW-kE5eVqek9OIHl-RjTglis4-u1Z9vSjv9DmPkoHhMvOEssT26EVb1x9kY7pigelV9vsbFtkld3lLVAUJlh8Z1JwtNUCGtmp85v-3mJRkQnbANpXSC-KirOFe_UQ/s1600/romanarmour.jpg" onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 271px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgiUMr-VmQRHQW-kE5eVqek9OIHl-RjTglis4-u1Z9vSjv9DmPkoHhMvOEssT26EVb1x9kY7pigelV9vsbFtkld3lLVAUJlh8Z1JwtNUCGtmp85v-3mJRkQnbANpXSC-KirOFe_UQ/s320/romanarmour.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5591059967768033314" /></a><w:trackformatting><w:punctuationkerning><w:validateagainstschemas><p class="MsoNormal" align="center" style="text-align:center">Stand</p> <p class="MsoNormal" align="center" style="text-align:center"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal" align="center" style="text-align:center"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal">The devil hath power to assume a pleasing shape. – William Shakespeare, Hamlet<o:p></o:p></i></p><p class="MsoNormal" align="center" style="text-align:center"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal"><br /></i></p> <p class="MsoNormal" align="center" style="text-align:center"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal"><o:p> </o:p></i></p> <p class="MsoNormal">If I may, let me be blunt:<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>Christians don’t like to talk about the devil.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>Oh we might say we’re comfortable addressing “spiritual warfare,” but what does that actually look like?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>We usually resort to saying something like:</p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal">a) God is in control and all-powerful, so let’s not focus on Satan’s attacks.</p> <p class="MsoNormal">b) Spiritual warfare is everywhere, and the Enemy can attacks Christians with everything from a flat tire to a life-threatening illness.</p> <p class="MsoNormal">c) Spiritual warfare is more a matter of the heart rather than a tangible reality.</p> <p class="MsoNormal">d) The list goes on…</p><p class="MsoNormal"><br /></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal">While all of these responses have some elements of truth, they miss the main point:<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>Spiritual warfare is a battle of the mind, and as Christians our response is simply to stand.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>Rather than fight, cower or simply ignore the spiritual battles around us, we are called to stand our ground, equipped with the Armor of God. In the sixth section of Theodyssey called “Contend,” David Smith reviews the six different pieces that make up the Armor of God (see Ephesians 6:10-18), and he shows how each piece is vital to protecting our minds against the Enemy’s lies, accusations and fear.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><br /></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes"></span>My Theodyssey group had been planning a weekend retreat for months and while on the retreat, we would be reviewing the Contend section.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>I was pumped!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>But life changed when I got a horrible case of the flu the week before the retreat and found myself too sick to join everyone.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>Coincidence that I had to miss a weekend with my closest friends, talking about life and faith and God, in a cabin in the mountains?!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>Maybe.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>That’s not necessarily spiritual warfare; <i style="mso-bidi-font-style:normal">instead, the battle is what goes on in my mind because I had to miss the retreat</i>.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>Here’s how I was able to use the Armor of God in that moment:</p><p class="MsoNormal"><br /></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left:.5in;text-indent:-.25in;mso-list:l0 level1 lfo1"><!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="mso-bidi-font-family:Cambria"><span style="mso-list:Ignore">-<span style="font:7.0pt "Times New Roman""> </span></span></span><!--[endif]--><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight:normal">The Belt of Truth</b>:<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>The belt of truth protects us against the lies the Enemy tells us about ourselves and about God.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>We need to secure God’s truth around our lives to uproot these lies and accusations.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>When I realized that I had to miss the retreat, I started recognizing certain familiar lies popping up in my mind:<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>“Now you won’t fit in to the group.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>You’ll be left behind.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>Everyone else will receive healing except for you.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>So, I had to choose to believe God’s truth:<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>“God protects me, cares for me and wants what is best for me.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>God’s power in my life is what will heal me.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>God has given me this community and will help us stay unified.”</p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left:.5in;text-indent:-.25in;mso-list:l0 level1 lfo1"><br /></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left:.5in;text-indent:-.25in;mso-list:l0 level1 lfo1"><!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="mso-bidi-font-family:Cambria"><span style="mso-list:Ignore">-<span style="font:7.0pt "Times New Roman""> </span></span></span><!--[endif]--><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight:normal">The Breastplate of Righteousness</b>:<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>When we talk about righteousness, we are referring to our identity in Christ.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>Through Christ, we have a right standing before God, meaning that God has made us holy, blameless and free of condemnation.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>Where the Enemy would want to us to believe that we are unworthy or that we must earn our own salvation, putting on the breastplate reminds us that we have been redeemed.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>I was tempted to believe that by missing the retreat, I would have to work extra hard to find the healing that the rest of my group experienced, that somehow I was behind the game.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>But, God reminded me that he is the one working in and through me, and he has already made me righteous in his sight.</p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left:.5in;text-indent:-.25in;mso-list:l0 level1 lfo1"><br /></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left:.5in;text-indent:-.25in;mso-list:l0 level1 lfo1"><!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="mso-bidi-font-family:Cambria"><span style="mso-list:Ignore">-<span style="font:7.0pt "Times New Roman""> </span></span></span><!--[endif]--><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight:normal">Sandals of the Gospel of Peace:<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span></b>In order to understand this piece of the armor, it helps to understand that the “Gospel of Peace” is the Good News that we have peace with God and that he has given us the opportunity to journey with him.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>From this place of peace, we can move forward with confidence and courage.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>If I had responded out of my fear and anxiety, I would have gone on the retreat to make sure I didn’t miss out on anything.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>However, choosing to walk with God meant taking care of myself, resting and trusting that God would still accomplish his purposes in me.</p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left:.5in;text-indent:-.25in;mso-list:l0 level1 lfo1"><br /></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left:.5in;text-indent:-.25in;mso-list:l0 level1 lfo1"><!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="mso-bidi-font-family:Cambria"><span style="mso-list:Ignore">-<span style="font:7.0pt "Times New Roman""> </span></span></span><!--[endif]--><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight:normal">Shield of Faith</b>:<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>The shield of faith helps us resist the temptation to place our faith in ourselves, others or circumstances.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>When the urge arises to trust in something temporal, we need our faith in God eternal and the work he has already done on our behalf.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>I certainly had (and still do have) the temptation to place my faith in the Theodyssey process, rather than in the One who created this process.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>My group, the retreat, the homework- all have been agents of healing and growth, yet my faith must rest in God alone.</p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left:.5in;text-indent:-.25in;mso-list:l0 level1 lfo1"><br /></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left:.5in;text-indent:-.25in;mso-list:l0 level1 lfo1"><!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="mso-bidi-font-family:Cambria"><span style="mso-list:Ignore">-<span style="font:7.0pt "Times New Roman""> </span></span></span><!--[endif]--><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight:normal">Helmet of Salvation:<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span></b>By placing the helmet of salvation on our heads, we are reminding ourselves of the hope we have in Christ.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>Instead of focusing only on our present circumstances and challenges, we can shift our perspective to one of the future in which God is always at work and always in control.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>Ultimately, we can have hope that things will not always be this way.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>I may have been sick and missed the retreat, yet God is moving and working in my heart through these struggles and drawing me closer to him.</p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left:.5in;text-indent:-.25in;mso-list:l0 level1 lfo1"><br /></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left:.5in;text-indent:-.25in;mso-list:l0 level1 lfo1"><!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="mso-bidi-font-family:Cambria"><span style="mso-list:Ignore">-<span style="font:7.0pt "Times New Roman""> </span></span></span><!--[endif]--><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight:normal">Sword of Truth:</b><span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>Finally, we have the sword of truth, which is perhaps the most pointed and personal piece of the armor.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>When Paul described this type of sword, he was referring to one that was used for very immediate, personal and close-contact defense.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>There are instances of spiritual warfare where the Enemy will use extremely pointed lies that attack specific weaknesses, and the believer needs to renounce those lies and affirm truths that directly oppose them.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>The Enemy used my fears of being rejected in many of the lies he told me about missing the retreat, so I had to grasp onto God’s truths of acceptance and unconditional love.</p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left:.5in;text-indent:-.25in;mso-list:l0 level1 lfo1"><br /></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight:normal"><o:p> </o:p></b></p> <p class="MsoNormal">In the battle for your mind, take heart- you have been equipped and you have been called to stand.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>And ultimately, you are protected by One who loves you with a fierce devotion and will never leave you.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>Standing with you…</p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal">much love,</p> <p class="MsoNormal">alair </p> <!--EndFragment--><p class="MsoNormal" align="center" style="text-align:center"><br /></p> <!--EndFragment--></w:validateagainstschemas></w:punctuationkerning></w:trackformatting>Alairhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14473829775747851107noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30402958.post-22549275273239153422011-03-24T22:49:00.000-07:002011-03-24T23:13:01.067-07:00<p class="MsoNormal" align="center" style="text-align:center">Unstuck</p><p class="MsoNormal" align="center" style="text-align:center"><br /></p> <p class="MsoNormal" align="center" style="text-align:center"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal" align="center" style="text-align:center"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal">You have your identity when you find out, not what you can keep your mind on, but what you can’t keep your mind off. – Archie Ammons<o:p></o:p></i></p><p class="MsoNormal" align="center" style="text-align:center"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal"><br /></i></p> <p class="MsoNormal" align="center" style="text-align:center"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal">Time for another <a href="http://harrypotter.wikia.com/wiki/Main_Page">Harry Potter</a> life lesson.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgWiHRiKuB3wkcFe_4RX0tWfNk74vBhNXYlAoovnsCUocI4Y2U0DQerCtpkSQgECOEw5BITE0CRBuDe2DKQau0uDNc-3t5RsP0wklt-fWS7-GiY-TuUmCBis8qFqkf5c6aw46PAJg/s320/train_tracks.jpg" style="float:right; margin:0 0 10px 10px;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 240px;" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5587891123043999202" /></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal">Harry is sitting on the Hogwarts Express for the first time, minutes after departing on a journey that will change his life forever.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>The train rushes forward, black smoke billowing all around, family and friends waving to the young students bound for their first year at Hogwarts School:</p><p class="MsoNormal">“Harry watched the girl and her mother disappear as the train rounded the corner.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>Houses flashed past the window.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>Harry felt a great leap of excitement.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>He didn’t know where he was going to- but it had to be better than what he was leaving behind.”</p><p class="MsoNormal">Have you ever reached a point in your life where things have got to change, where anything has got to be better than what you have right now?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>Maybe it’s time to get unstuck.</p><p class="MsoNormal">The halfway point in my <a href="http://www.theodyssey.org/">Theodyssey</a> journey came with the section entitled “Excavation” and I dug up some pretty painful insights.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>But, the digging was so necessary for me to uproot many of the core beliefs, attitudes and perspectives I had that were keeping me trapped.</p><p class="MsoNormal">The first part focused on identifying and removing the obstacles that keep us stuck in our old, stale ways of living.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>The most daunting obstacle in my path was my failure to accept myself.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>Over the course of my 29 years of life, I had come to believe that somehow I could never measure up.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>This belief had been formed by different circumstances, experiences, people, words and assumptions.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>David Smith asks, “What experiences, memories, situations, or people have the power to dictate my sense of self-worth?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>To whom have I given the power to be the ‘sayer’ of who I am?”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>Tough questions.</p><p class="MsoNormal">Take that core belief, and add on “the four rules.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>Essentially, everyone comes in contact with these four rules at some point in their life and they stifle, constrict and invalidate the person you were made to be.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>They are:</p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left:.5in;text-indent:-.25in;mso-list:l0 level1 lfo1"><!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="mso-bidi-font-family:Cambria"><span style="mso-list:Ignore">-<span style="font:7.0pt "Times New Roman""> </span></span></span><!--[endif]-->Don’t think what you want to think; thing what we want you to think.</p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left:.5in;text-indent:-.25in;mso-list:l0 level1 lfo1"><!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="mso-bidi-font-family:Cambria"><span style="mso-list:Ignore">-<span style="font:7.0pt "Times New Roman""> </span></span></span><!--[endif]-->Don’t feel what you want to feel; feel what we want you to feel.</p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left:.5in;text-indent:-.25in;mso-list:l0 level1 lfo1"><!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="mso-bidi-font-family:Cambria"><span style="mso-list:Ignore">-<span style="font:7.0pt "Times New Roman""> </span></span></span><!--[endif]-->Don’t say what you want to say; say what we want you to say.</p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left:.5in;text-indent:-.25in;mso-list:l0 level1 lfo1"><!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="mso-bidi-font-family:Cambria"><span style="mso-list:Ignore">-<span style="font:7.0pt "Times New Roman""> </span></span></span><!--[endif]-->Don’t do what you want to do; do what we want you to do.</p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left:.5in;text-indent:-.25in;mso-list:l0 level1 lfo1"><br /></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left:.5in;text-indent:-.25in;mso-list:l0 level1 lfo1">Have you ever obeyed one of the four rules?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>If you’re like me, you’ve encountered all of them at least once in your life and realize how painfully oppressing they can be.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>They force us to be <a href="http://www.masks-wigs-and-costumes.com/Masks/images/paper_mache_plain_masks.JPG">something other</a> than who we truly are and slowly, very insidiously, we find ourselves acting, thinking and existing in ways that we never wanted.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>But we’re too stuck to change.</p><p class="MsoNormal">So how do we move from a place of feeling trapped, to joining Harry on the train to Hogwarts and to something better than we’re leaving behind?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>We have to let go.</p><p class="MsoNormal">For me, my freedom came by releasing my unforgiveness and my deep shame.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>As I worked through this section, I realized that I was holding on to unforgiveness and shame because they protected me:<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>unforgiveness protected me from those who had hurt me with their four rules, and shame protected me from the reality of feeling imperfect.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>I thought I was protected; in reality, I was frozen.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>I had created these false barriers around myself, and God invited me to gently let my walls down so he could replace them with his mercy and strength.</p><p class="MsoNormal"><br /></p><p class="MsoNormal"><img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg2-Ads3xQ1RBY8cmFf_EkKX3VjIBsMWLenM6NXzerexI5H71SuY4mCj204Ul85FAN4t2NNXWKw6zaSQcA-dT2-dIMN50DNStxcRDOo7p4K5kRKzeOu_3Bw47DrzBDtaa5XGfE_Bw/s320/open++cage.JPG" style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 257px;" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5587892492068128146" /></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal">He taught me that forgiveness is not about forgetting, it’s not about excusing and it’s certainly not about putting up with ongoing hurtful behavior.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>As David Smith writes, it’s about “releasing the offender to God and trusting him to accomplish his purposes in their life…Forgiveness is between us and Jesus, not the one who hurt us…It is something we do for the sake of our own souls.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><br /></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal">And he taught me that shame is not about being perfect, it’s not about high expectations and it’s certainly not about cleaning up my mess before God can love me.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>Instead, it’s about “accepting the reality of our broken, flawed lives [as] the beginning of spirituality, not because the spiritual life will remove our flaws, but because we let go of seeking perfection and instead seek God, the one who is present in the tangledness of our lives.”</p><p class="MsoNormal">Are you ready to find something better than what you’re leaving behind?</p><p class="MsoNormal">much love,</p> <p class="MsoNormal">alair </p> <!--EndFragment-->Alairhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14473829775747851107noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30402958.post-17950706887258776592011-02-10T21:15:00.000-08:002011-02-10T21:48:30.580-08:00<p class="MsoNormal" align="center" style="text-align:center"><span class="Apple-style-span" >Truth, Lie, Response</span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" align="center" style="text-align:center"><o:p><span class="Apple-style-span" > </span></o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal" align="center" style="text-align:center"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" >You can close your eyes to the things you do not want to see, but you cannot close your heart to the things you do not want to feel. – Anonymous<o:p></o:p></span></i></p><p class="MsoNormal" align="center" style="text-align:center"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" ><br /></span></i></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p><span class="Apple-style-span" > </span></o:p></p> <img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiEqTAktH0YNqG-2LACVf5bow5mA6VTcECoTQON_5D7PXoC5ajRDtd1K858tThrtq79dswmKTtlhLJQP3kVgIiOw80AtJTyKnTLV0pKeroCAR1CI3n2fWM8oXRbKoCx0Gfm4dx3sg/s320/dreamphone1991.jpg" style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 179px;" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5572297181766610322" /><p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" ><span class="Apple-style-span">When I was about 10 or 11, one of my favorite board games was “<a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BVary7lyBq0">Dream Phone</a>.” If you’re not </span>familiar with this game (either because you are older than me, or a male), here’s the gist: there is a game board with pictures of fictional (and very attractive) guys, and you have to figure out which one “likes” you. At the center of the board rests a huge, plastic, pink phone, with which you make calls and get anonymous tips that clue you in a<span class="Apple-style-span">s to who is digging you. Slowly, through the process of elimination, you cross Ryan, Jake and many others off your l</span><span class="Apple-style-span">ist, praying that the nerd Ted isn’t the “one.” I played this game for hours.</span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" >Why am I sharing with you about my young dating career? Because this is a perfect example of how often, and how innocently, we internalize messages about ourselves that aren’t necessarily true.</span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" ><span class="Apple-style-span">Let me expand on this to make my point a bit clear. Here’s how a simple game like Dream Phone can plant a harmful seed in a young mind: Some guy out there likes me. The goal of this “game” is to collect hint</span><span class="Apple-style-span">s, make assumptions and use all of my brainpower to figure out who is my mystery date. If cute guy Steve likes me, then clearly I’m a winner. If it’s the nerdy/unattractive/unappealing guy, then I’m devastated…because the cute one didn’t choose me. Suddenly, attraction, relationships and emotions are reduced to a board of faces and a large pink phone.</span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" ><span class="Apple-style-span">For many of us, our distorted thinking comes from experiences and memories much more severe than a simple game of Dream Phone. Along the course of life, we’ve learned to believe false, shaming, debilitating messages about ourselves. These could originate from childhood, a former boss or work environment, a toxic relationship, the media…</span><span class="Apple-style-span">the options are endless. What they all have in common is that they leave us feeling awful about ourselves, fearful about life and only a fraction of the people God created us to be.</span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" >In the fourth section of Theodyssey titled “Godwalking,” we explored seven different themes associated with spiritual growth. The one that stuck with me the most was Identity. Hear what David Smith has to say about how these negative beliefs affect our identity:</span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" >“Living our lives by default means that we simply allow these inner thoughts and emotions to swirl about unnoticed, and thus we let them shape our identity by default…Unless they are noticed and identified for what they are, they settle into the core of who we are, and, in effect, create our very nature.”</span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" ><span class="Apple-style-span"><img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiQ8YaOruwdJm4SLiNfDz6aPvbdqe6nV2tNcU7wI1xfYr41baXrXFAmviiA3bUXBfyEIO33o_w-pBk8AQZ0rljkyIbs4ruyWTDLMLrbG8t02OhatIT3cfIxJk06cz5K3GiRSeWDrw/s320/Brick_Foundation_Repair_1949351_460.jpg" style="float:right; margin:0 0 10px 10px;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 209px;" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5572303814222873954" /></span>Before we know what happened, we assume that all of the horrible messages we’ve been told are actually true.</span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" >So what do we do? The best solution that I’ve experienced is the Lie/Truth/Response chart outlined in this Godwalking section. Using a three-columned chart, we were instructed to identify some of the harshest lies we believe. Then, for every lie, we would write out one truth found in God’s Word that would completely negate the lie. Finally, we would write a statement in which we would consciously choose the truth. This may have been the most important step in the whole process. Oftentimes, we have to purposefully choose the truth because we’ve become really comfortable believing the lies.</span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" >Walking through this process was challenging, liberating, painful and exciting. Some of the lies I wrote down were old standbys; others were new and cut to the core of my being. They hit on every sore spot I can imagine. But, that made the truth so much sweeter. I wrote verse after verse about God’s unconditional love, his kindness as a Father, his overwhelming grace and the freedom he gives.</span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" >Above all else, I realized that I am wanted, fought for, purchased, treasured…and chosen…by the God of the universe.</span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" >Take that, Dream Phone.</span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" >much love,</span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" >alair</span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <!--EndFragment-->Alairhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14473829775747851107noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30402958.post-60352057523747733352011-01-04T18:19:00.000-08:002011-01-04T18:28:29.994-08:00<p class="MsoNormal" align="center" style="text-align:center">I Believe… </p><p class="MsoNormal" align="center" style="text-align:center"><br /></p> <p class="MsoNormal" align="center" style="text-align:center"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal" align="center" style="text-align:center"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal">God is not who you think he is; he is who he says he is</i>. – Clairice Fluitt</p><p class="MsoNormal" align="center" style="text-align:center"><br /></p> <p class="MsoNormal" align="center" style="text-align:center"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal">I have heard it said that the most important thing about a person is what he or she believes about God.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>What we believe about God directly affects how we think, act, relate and behave, and oftentimes our beliefs are really distorted.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>The third section of Theodyssey focused on the beliefs and images that we hold about God, specifically looking at how we relate to God as Father.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>If the most important thing about me is what I believe about God, then perhaps that was why this section was so challenging and transformational – it completely changed what I believe about God.</p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal">When I finally got real with God, I had to admit that I had some very false images about him.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>Here are just a few:<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>God is inconsistent and can’t be trusted.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>God will leave me hanging when I need him.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>God is withholding good things from me.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>God feels distant and is always disappointed with me.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>Can you relate to any of these?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>Or maybe add a few of your own?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>If this is how I picture and think about my Heavenly Father, then you can only imagine with I think of myself or how I live my life.</p><p class="MsoNormal"><br /></p><p class="MsoNormal"><img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEimucX-X7ex7q1vLl93AEXXlOHL6dFhO0-koAS5-HrPthbJQnx_-2beCogcjjOnCXwzD4YfYPIWY1yFNR-UVBJKZE78L_49bFtZRSMbTnvqpPE897u_hY2v7AHga8t43yWJwlDsPw/s320/121117337_73b1457543.jpg" style="float:right; margin:0 0 10px 10px;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 235px; height: 320px;" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5558521760759705378" /></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal">But one night in our group meeting, we reflected on this Scripture:</p><p class="MsoNormal"><br /></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p style="margin-top:.1pt;margin-right:0in;margin-bottom:.1pt;margin-left:0in"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style:normal"><span style="font-size:12.0pt;mso-bidi-font-size: 10.5pt;font-family:Cambria;color:black">“Jesus answered,<span class="apple-converted-space"> </span>‘I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me. </span></i><i style="mso-bidi-font-style:normal"><span style="font-size:12.0pt;mso-bidi-font-size: 10.5pt;font-family:Cambria;color:black">If you really know me, you will know</span></i><i style="mso-bidi-font-style:normal"><sup><span style="font-size:12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size:8.0pt;font-family:Cambria;color:black"> </span></sup></i><i style="mso-bidi-font-style:normal"><span style="font-size:12.0pt;mso-bidi-font-size: 10.5pt;font-family:Cambria;color:black">my Father as well. From now on, you do know him and have seen him.’<o:p></o:p></span></i></p><p style="margin-top:.1pt;margin-right:0in;margin-bottom:.1pt;margin-left:0in"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style:normal"><span style="font-size:12.0pt;mso-bidi-font-size: 10.5pt;font-family:Cambria;color:black"><br /></span></i></p> <p style="margin-top:.1pt;margin-right:0in;margin-bottom:.1pt;margin-left:0in"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style:normal"><span style="font-size:12.0pt;mso-bidi-font-size: 10.5pt;font-family:Cambria;color:black"><o:p> </o:p></span></i></p> <p style="margin-top:.1pt;margin-right:0in;margin-bottom:.1pt;margin-left:0in"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style:normal"><span style="font-size:12.0pt;mso-bidi-font-size: 10.5pt;font-family:Cambria;color:black">Philip said, ‘Lord, show us the Father and that will be enough for us.’<o:p></o:p></span></i></p><p style="margin-top:.1pt;margin-right:0in;margin-bottom:.1pt;margin-left:0in"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style:normal"><span style="font-size:12.0pt;mso-bidi-font-size: 10.5pt;font-family:Cambria;color:black"><br /></span></i></p> <p style="margin-top:.1pt;margin-right:0in;margin-bottom:.1pt;margin-left:0in"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style:normal"><span style="font-size:12.0pt;mso-bidi-font-size: 10.5pt;font-family:Cambria;color:black"><o:p> </o:p></span></i></p> <p style="margin-top:.1pt;margin-right:0in;margin-bottom:.1pt;margin-left:0in"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style:normal"><span style="font-size:12.0pt;mso-bidi-font-size: 10.5pt;font-family:Cambria;color:black">Jesus answered:<span class="apple-converted-space"> </span>‘Don’t you know me, Philip, even after I have been among you such a long time? Anyone who has seen me has seen the Father. How can you say, ‘Show us the Father’?<span class="apple-converted-space"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span></span>Don’t you believe that I am in the Father, and that the Father is in me? The words I say to you I do not speak on my own authority. Rather, it is the Father, living in me, who is doing his work.’”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>(John 14:6-10)<o:p></o:p></span></i></p><p style="margin-top:.1pt;margin-right:0in;margin-bottom:.1pt;margin-left:0in"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style:normal"><span style="font-size:12.0pt;mso-bidi-font-size: 10.5pt;font-family:Cambria;color:black"><br /></span></i></p> <p style="margin-top:.1pt;margin-right:0in;margin-bottom:.1pt;margin-left:0in"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style:normal"><span style="font-size:12.0pt;mso-bidi-font-size: 10.5pt;font-family:Cambria;color:black"><o:p> </o:p></span></i></p> <p class="MsoNormal">I think it’s very common for people to feel closer to Jesus, like he’s their “buddy” or friend or compassionate teacher.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>But God is a cold, distant, authoritative disciplinarian who doesn’t care if we’re hurting or in trouble.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>How do these two different pictures match up with Jesus’ words to Philip?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>Answer: they don’t.</p><p class="MsoNormal"><br /></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal">Think about these words from Gregory Boyle:<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>“Jesus spent his ministry freeing people from evil and misery.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>This is what God seeks to do…Jesus loved people others rejected- even people who rejected him.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>This is how God loves…And Jesus died on the cross of Calvary…This is how God saves” (<i><a href="http://www.amazon.com/Moving-Beyond-Answers-Problem-Suffering/dp/0830823948/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1294194473&sr=1-1">Is God to Blame?</a></i>)<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal">.<o:p></o:p></i></p><p class="MsoNormal"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal"><br /></i></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal">See, we have known God all along.</p><p class="MsoNormal"><br /></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal">I think God knew that we would struggle with distorted images of him, whether we developed those from relationships with our own fathers, false teachings we heard in church or other life circumstances.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>I believe that God graciously gave his son not only to save us, but also to show us who he really is.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>To show us that he can be trusted, that he loves us tremendously and unconditionally, that he longs to heal and help us.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>There really is nothing more important than that.</p><p class="MsoNormal"><br /></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal">much love,</p> <p class="MsoNormal">alair </p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <!--EndFragment-->Alairhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14473829775747851107noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30402958.post-17103337283602813752010-12-07T16:29:00.000-08:002010-12-07T16:53:54.393-08:00<div style="text-align: center;">Trains, lettuce and Harry Potter</div><br />The second section of my Theodyseey journey was titled “Architexture”, which turned out to be an exploration of my identity, my life story and the perceptions that I hold of myself. You know, easy topics like those. I felt a little like a frog in Biology 101- my heart, mind and soul were being dissected and studied piece by piece, and I enjoyed looking at myself from several newangles.<br /><br />The part I didn’t enjoy involved trains and lettuce.<div><div><img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjEmLYoX40wiihJTxBZEBavaLT_LDIGAVHZc8YUNvHqQYHBjbm3Bs8fqmpYJ6Hz-dlEKBOdpj9Lom3q9C9ifnkBdc_YoAVeNyZR-lBI61Yf2T3l8GEYDBspcUdlCiJsHhRcxdfhHw/s320/train2.jpg" style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 216px;" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5548105922215056738" /><br /></div><div>The author presents (again) two different approaches to understanding the way that God works in our lives. I would take this a step further and apply these metaphors to the ways that people approach growth, change or progress in general. The first is a train model: we are traveling forward on a linear track, passing stations left and right as proof that we are getting somewhere. If we make a mistake, the train is “<a href="http://ruach.files.wordpress.com/2010/02/train_derail.jpg">derailed</a>” and taken all the way to the beginning of the track. The point is to make as few mistakes as possible: “The goal of this linear pursuit is the final destination. After all, isn’t the whole point of the journey to ‘get there?'" Minimize mistakes, maximize speed a<div>nd you will arrive- sounds good to me.<br /></div><div><br />The lettuce model is quite different. Rather than seeing spiritual growth (or</div><img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg5NzEMMsxW4gkEtLfk8SVzSPJ2n_Vam8cmVtPxfWdcM1Nrt1Lm-VMuhb5uhmdcEdCCCYTLWGiGhzL_LkgjwhjFak_NCI-xXO0l33OEfaukXDXPBZIGLwL4IuXaygrf9qanTvpAgA/s320/lettuce-5617.jpg" style="float:right; margin:0 0 10px 10px;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 208px;" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5548103681529892802" />ourselves) as a linear progression, we are like a head of lettuce with the Holy Spirit at the center. Just like iceberg and romaine, we have various layers that are both healthy and unhealthy. Some areas of our livesare vibrant and alive, while others are struggling and withering. The main difference between the two models is the focus: “Rather than focusing on the destination, the emphasis in the lettuce model is on the process. There is a relationship to be entered into and a process of transformation to engage in.”<div><br />As my friends in Theodyssey could tell you, I clearly did not like this concept. In fact, when I was reading this section of the homework, I groaned out loud, put the book down and physically walked away from the text. I couldn’t stand it! I even wrote “uggghhhhh!” in my homework! Why would I want to be involved in such a messy, complex process when I would rather just move my caboose along one track?</div><div><br />What might have helped me was watching a little <a href="http://harrypotter.wikia.com/wiki/Main_Page">Harry Potter</a>. In an effort to get myself pumped for the midnight showing of <i>Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 1 </i>(So I’m a nerd…so what?), I put on some of the older movies while doing work around the house. The <i>Order of the Phoenix </i>was on and I walked into the livingroom just in time to catch this powerful scene:</div><div><br /><img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi6ID6Ykwzlw0veNgLx-zoo5pjI8WIVtaMX35fJnavh8r7FKUvqfbC1tCf2iCEP1MQSHsPik2SNcynhAPvqcethxhHjnqKBQI5TElDWXhshDtNLQ29iXHk5dzyFxfsRjbGBH1opPw/s320/BlackTapestryHarrySirius.jpg" style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 211px;" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5548105526275329794" />Harry is talking with his godfather, Sirius Black, and Harry is deeply concerned that he is becoming more and more like the evil Lord Voldemort. Harry says, “What if after everything that I’ve been through, something’s gone wrong inside me? What if I’m becoming bad?” Sirius answers, “I want you to listen to me very carefully, Harry. You’re not a bad person. You’re a very good person, who bad things have happened to…We’ve all got both light and dark inside us. What matters is the part we choose to act on. That’s who we really are.”</div><div><br /></div><div>While I’m not going to base the rest of my life on Harry Potter, I did find some hope in hearing these words. I am learning to accept the fact that I have healthy and wilted lettuce, green and brown leaves alike. And the best part- <a href="http://www.twolisteners.org/Nov%201-15.htm#November 11">all are important and all serve a purpose</a>. All have played a part in my story, and while I’m choosing to act on the good and heal the withering parts, I can accept all of them as part of me. Now, that sounds way better than a train, doesn’t it?</div><div><br />I’ll challenge you with the same- what picture looks more appealing: the train or the lettuce? Are there parts of you that you would rather pass by on the train tracks? Or do you find freedom in accepting all of you, just as you are in this moment? Here’s the crazy thing: THAT is exactly how God sees you and me, and loves us in the midst of all that…<br /><br />Much love,<br />alair<br /></div></div></div>Alairhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14473829775747851107noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30402958.post-43045535450974506502010-11-22T22:01:00.001-08:002010-11-22T22:05:05.212-08:00<p class="MsoNormal">About a month and a half ago, I begin a seven month-long spiritual formation process called Theodyssey.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>A play-on-words between an epic “odyssey”, or journey, and “theodicy”, meaning the defense of God’s attributes, this program was designed to help people be transformed for the sake of others.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>The process involves weekly homework, daily reflection and journaling and time spent with a group of others, sharing thoughts and struggles and triumphs.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>Theodyssey is meant to challenge, inspire, encourage, refine and renew.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal">Basically, it gets up in your business.</p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal">I’ve been out of grad school for almost six months, and I was excited for a new journey.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>I have spent the past five years learning about myself, and my own story, from a clinical, therapeutic perspective, and now I’m looking at myself from a new perspective.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>I thought, “Sure, I’ve been through seminary.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>This will be an exciting, new challenge.”</p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal">Little did I know what was in store.</p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal">Since this blog has been a place for me to share about all that is going on in my life, I want to include my Theodyssey journey in that process.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>There are ten main sections to this process, so I’ll post a new blog about the most influential, challenging or impacting part of each section.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>I hope this encourages you as well. . . </p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal" align="center" style="text-align:center"><br /></p><p class="MsoNormal" align="center" style="text-align:center">Farming Desire</p> <p class="MsoNormal" align="center" style="text-align:center"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal" align="center" style="text-align:center"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal">“You have made us for yourself, and our hearts are restless until they rest in you.” – St. Augustine<o:p></o:p></i></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal">We all desire something in this life.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>Whether that is a specific job, a satisfying relationship, a promotion, or acceptance and validation, our hearts and souls long for something that we don’t have.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>In my mind, I had always believed that you have to work hard to get what you want.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>If you put in enough time, effort, research and training, you can achieve those goals and life is good.</p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal">Enter the comparison of the factory and the farmer. </p><img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi9S5acjMV4I4xapnh5fW_yShICQm83JPddqDf-PgVpRHdng2oJzT-hU0Yud-vkp1poLb5j9Vdd6VZShi2KIAMj2h5rt4MVSevmAJ-iD0dV1k1up-Z9A6tlqP7ch1Et-EoXh9UWFA/s320/m_gunnison_CO_farm_land091304.jpg" style="float:right; margin:0 0 10px 10px;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 214px;" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5542621380033493810" /><p class="MsoNormal">In the first section of Theodyssey, the author describes two different approaches to growth, transformation and progress.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>The first is that of a factory- if you plan well and work hard, at the end of the day you will have a finished product.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>In sum, “success or failure depends upon us.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal">Contrast this with the farmer approach- the farmer prepares the soil, removes any hindrances that could interfere with his crops, and waits.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>Oftentimes, all that he has to show for his work at the end of the day is a field that looks very much like it did the day before.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>Simply put, “All that a farmer can do is cultivate an environment where life can grow.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span></p> <p class="MsoNormal">This challenges everything I’ve believed about spiritual growth, or any other growth for that matter.</p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal">As I was working on this section of the homework, I realized that I get uncomfortable when I can’t control the results of my work.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>I just plain don’t like it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>Farming seemed so passive, whereas factory work seemed energizing.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>But then I read this:<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>“Being fruitful in the spiritual life involves the hard work of cultivating an interior environment where the mystery of Jesus can grow.”</p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal">Like I said, it gets up in your business.</p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal">Suddenly, I realized that I was missing the most important part of growth:<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>letting God take control.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>There is such freedom in realizing that all I have to do is my part; all I have to do is create a space where desires can be planted and grown.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>I am not in charge of the results, only the environment for the harvest.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>Wow.</p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal">So I’ll challenge you with the same – where is your mindset in regards to growth and “success?”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>Do you place too much responsibility on yourself to produce results, and could you find more freedom in changing your perspective?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>Could you do more farming and less factory work?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>My prayer is that God would give us all grace and strength to continue cultivating…</p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal">Much love,</p> <p class="MsoNormal">alair</p> <!--EndFragment-->Alairhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14473829775747851107noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30402958.post-82946074966910514772010-10-05T21:32:00.002-07:002010-10-05T22:04:32.646-07:00<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjpHa01IsUiSvpeatE5z61kJVuCw_Cd86glB1HvHdu_rkpmCIICzyeYKaHbF568HW-WF7ciaxwRcKPqYSBwzxwFtwSXrG4-KszfdZUGP0yNNon8VdCn5ocjcFZeVYwAl-VsIXVIWQ/s1600/38257_1573198529292_1215394110_31610207_821915_n.jpg"><img style="float:right; margin:0 0 10px 10px;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 214px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjpHa01IsUiSvpeatE5z61kJVuCw_Cd86glB1HvHdu_rkpmCIICzyeYKaHbF568HW-WF7ciaxwRcKPqYSBwzxwFtwSXrG4-KszfdZUGP0yNNon8VdCn5ocjcFZeVYwAl-VsIXVIWQ/s320/38257_1573198529292_1215394110_31610207_821915_n.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5524793029532786242" /></a><br /><!--StartFragment--> <p class="MsoNormal" align="center" style="text-align:center">Backcountry Living (Part 3)</p><p class="MsoNormal" align="center" style="text-align:center"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">"</span></i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: verdana; -webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 2px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 2px; "><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">The waiting is the hardest part"- Tom Petty</span></i></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" align="center" style="text-align:center"><br /></p><p class="MsoNormal" align="center" style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: verdana; -webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 2px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 2px; "><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"></span></i></span>And now I’m back in the “real world.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>I’m back to the regular routine of a 40-hour workweek, traffic, stress, inconveniences and insecurities.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>I’ve moved a little farther away from my “soul country” and am eager to return.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>To be honest, I’ve gotten pretty angry at God for giving me a glimpse of the type of work I believe I am called to do, but putting me right back into a place that feels so far from my dreams.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>I had no clue that the past few months were going to be a lesson in longing and desire.</p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p>So what do you do when God gives you a vision, or puts a passion in your heart, and then seems to be doing everything <i style="mso-bidi-font-style:normal">but</i> fulfill that longing?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>Maybe you’ve experienced this with longing for a relationship, physical healing, a job, wisdom, having children…the examples are countless.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>But sometimes, God’s responses seem to be very few.</p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p>I’m just starting to get some perspective on my life after going on The Way, after much crying and yelling and questioning and shaking my fist at God.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>In the midst of all that, I found a few things that really helped me with my unfulfilled longings…</p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left:.5in;text-indent:-.25in;mso-list:l0 level1 lfo1"><span style="mso-bidi-font-family:Cambria"><span style="mso-list:Ignore">-<span style="font:7.0pt "Times New Roman""> </span></span></span><i style="mso-bidi-font-style:normal">Get it out</i>.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>I have two huge, mirrored closet doors in my room, which have turned into a sort of canvas for my thoughts.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>I spent a few nights with a dry erase board marker, writing on my mirror every single feeling I was experiencing at that time.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>I wrote some feelings twice; some I wrote and then crossed off.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>I just kept writing until I couldn’t think of anything else, and it felt really good.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>Sometimes I erased it right away and other times, I left the words up on the mirror for a long time.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>Expressing those <a href="http://www.realbollywood.com/news/up_images/emotion4562.jpg">emotions</a> made them more real yet it was so cathartic to be authentic and honest.</p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left:.5in;text-indent:-.25in;mso-list:l0 level1 lfo1"><span style="mso-bidi-font-family:Cambria"><span style="mso-list:Ignore">-<span style="font:7.0pt "Times New Roman""> </span></span></span><i style="mso-bidi-font-style:normal">Surrender</i>.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>One night after writing down all those feelings, I just surrendered to God.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>I had nothing left to do or give, so I gave up.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>I released all of my dreams and frustration and hurt and hopes to God, believing that he must know better than me.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>Once I did that, I realized that life could be exciting when we allow God to move in us and do things that we could never have imagined.</p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left:.5in;text-indent:-.25in;mso-list:l0 level1 lfo1"><span style="mso-bidi-font-family:Cambria"><span style="mso-list:Ignore">-<span style="font:7.0pt "Times New Roman""> </span></span></span><i style="mso-bidi-font-style:normal">God wants to save you</i>.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>A few weeks ago, a local <a href="http://stephenfishwick.com/">artist</a> visited my church and painted while the band played their regular worship songs.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>Each set of songs began with a blank canvas, and by the end, he had <a href="http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=252719&id=164632798693&fbid=475398743693">created a masterpiece</a> in front of our eyes.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>I was in awe.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>As we sang about the cross, he painted Jesus’ face and crown of thorns.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>The story of salvation came to life, and I heard God say to me, “It is my joy to save you.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>I desire and love to bring you out of the places that seem too dark and too deep.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>I take delight in saving you.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>God wants to save you.</p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left:.5in;text-indent:-.25in;mso-list:l0 level1 lfo1"><span style="mso-bidi-font-family:Cambria"><span style="mso-list:Ignore">-<span style="font:7.0pt "Times New Roman""> </span></span></span><i style="mso-bidi-font-style:normal">Be kind to yourself.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span></i>I don’t know about you, but sometimes my longings turn into high expectations.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>Somehow, I equate “fulfilled longing” with “worth and value as a person.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>I find my identity in my dreams and desires, rather than seeing them as <a href="http://www.amazon.com/Gift-Being-Yourself-Sacred-Self-Discovery/dp/0830832459">expressions</a> of who God made me to be.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>God is teaching me to accept and love myself, and find my true identity in him.</p> <p class="MsoNormal">I am still on this journey of longing and desire, so by no means do I have this all sorted out.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>I’m sure you could keep adding to this list and I hope you do.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>My prayer is that as you discover and long for your “soul country,” God would give you grace, strength and encouragement.</p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p>Much love,</p> <p class="MsoNormal">alair</p> <!--EndFragment-->Alairhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14473829775747851107noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30402958.post-60543432668797311932010-09-06T23:00:00.000-07:002010-09-06T23:17:17.833-07:00<p class="MsoNormal" align="center" style="text-align:center">Backcountry Living (Part 2)</p> <p class="MsoNormal" align="center" style="text-align:center"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal">It’s been over a month since my backpacking trip with Point Loma students, and I am still in awe of everything that happened.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>While the last post explained what we <i style="mso-bidi-font-style:normal">did</i>, I wanted to share a bit about what the trip was <i style="mso-bidi-font-style:normal">like</i>.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>Again, I’ll try my best to put this into words. </p><p class="MsoNormal"><br /></p><p class="MsoNormal"><img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiYwDZsWgL_0_xwgLqSlcpZt9254Ikz0tczLIr_DyO2LGZJ1TZUxpDibsBLwiqEie6uVxh9hjupp7E2a35zkaMW0ofmBUVO5mKM-0qq9uM373CFDCy3PzhVssPzv_7LYJaul1iLug/s320/39785_147100681973009_100000192343918_456014_1781805_n.jpg" style="float:right; margin:0 0 10px 10px;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 240px;" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5514048601349451202" />Have you ever experienced a moment or an instance where you thought, “I could do this for the rest of my life”?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>Where you realized, “This is who I am and who I was created to be”?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>For me, this trip was that moment.</p><p class="MsoNormal">In one week, I saw lives changed and hearts opened.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>I watched as a group of fifteen people came together from all over the country, traveled through the wilderness, cooked for each other and learned to trust one another.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>All without showering for about a week!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>I think one of the most amazing parts of this trip was the bond that formed within our group.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>I think it would have been easy to spend six days in the Sierras, do some crazy things, have some laughs and then all go our separate ways.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>And the journey would have ended there.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>Instead, we chose to be honest, open and authentic with one another and create a close-knit group that supported and accepted each another.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>That takes a huge amount of courage and I was so encouraged to see both students and leaders take that risk.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>A lot of us faced our fears on this trip, whether that was climbing a mountain, making new friends or letting other people see us at our worst.</p><div><p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhutfZ-JEvXqNtJaiTA6-SsVfkOIUdKJKdFobU1cB5y4Cucse55h69TF5kKFw1xP7MLPGtM4deH8u8Rjl2qE-2qt_VGvS3XduhJx_9dySWHanZn4a9j1vJJZq-2qkVPETCwQ9UB-Q/s320/35939_1573196409239_1215394110_31610185_3549932_n.jpg" style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 214px;" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5514050226174700322" /><p class="MsoNormal">Throughout the trip, everyone had the opportunity to share his or her life story and then the rest of the group could ask that person any number of questions.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>One night, my friend Josh threw out this intense question:<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>“Describe your soul country.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>I thought about that idea for days after and I realized that I was living in my “soul country”:<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>backpacking through the wilderness, spending time with teenagers, hearing their stories, laughing at stupid jokes and realizing how dorky I can be.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>I felt at home.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>I believe that God gave me a glimpse of the vision and calling he has for my life, and how he has created me to combine my love of counseling, outdoors and adolescents all into one.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>I felt alive, energized, challenged, fulfilled…and so grateful.</p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal">More to come…</p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal">Much love,</p> <p class="MsoNormal">alair</p> <!--EndFragment--></div>Alairhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14473829775747851107noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30402958.post-60506858989405684422010-08-14T16:53:00.001-07:002010-08-14T17:06:06.110-07:00<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiULYU4XYXEmy2GhW4UwZulLaanEUGVaQpetEUYxJ3Gugtm-p_AzrF1-a8KsXuBjdRJYX5dfC8uZOarq2BzuHsx71p1sqV3JqlLctROVDoDg_gk0i_y95GgWQRG3fWupVqyVPQ6-w/s1600/41179_421189685809_552160809_5396897_4841995_n.jpg"><img style="float:right; margin:0 0 10px 10px;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiULYU4XYXEmy2GhW4UwZulLaanEUGVaQpetEUYxJ3Gugtm-p_AzrF1-a8KsXuBjdRJYX5dfC8uZOarq2BzuHsx71p1sqV3JqlLctROVDoDg_gk0i_y95GgWQRG3fWupVqyVPQ6-w/s320/41179_421189685809_552160809_5396897_4841995_n.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5505420297084766082" /></a><br /><div style="text-align: center;"><b>Backcountry Living</b></div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">It’s not very often that I find myself speechless. I can usually put my thoughts, feelings, or ideas into words, but when something touches my soul, I am at a loss. With that said, I’m going to try my best to give you a glimpse into a recent backpacking trip that changed my life.</div>As most of you know, I work at Point Loma Nazarene University, and every summer, the school offers a week-long backpacking trip for incoming freshman students. This is a greatopportunity for students to make friends before the school year starts. Two of my friends were leading the trip and asked if I would be interested in coming along as a third leader. I think it took me a total of two minutes to pause, check my calendar, and say an enthusiastic, “heck yes!”<br /><br />I had no idea what I was in for.<br /><br /><div>On a Sunday afternoon, twelve students from all over the country gathered together i<img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjtg9cKpJuEB41iqsackKOXkv0jy3I457bVODb1cRq6QXoz-DRkyX3AqYB6cJGhnv1w7yDQOHv6J90eIhaCs1Z2RS7ebtnTAHS3JGrI2749Bf4YnPcgnl2s88e7bB_kzm8UglantQ/s320/39819_147096321973445_100000192343918_455835_1610839_n.jpg" style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 240px;" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5505418720852455570" />n the Point Loma rec room to meet us leaders and one another, and finally see who they would be traveling with on this journey. We divided up the gear, carefully packed our backpacks (sadly leaving out the deodorant), and learned proper bathroom “techniques” for the backcountry. Apparently, snow is a great substitute for toilet paper…I won’t go into detail.<br /><br />And then the trip began.<br /><br />We spent our first day rock climbing in the Alabama Hills, which looked more like Mars than central California. From there, we drove north to Big Pine and began our five-day backpacking adventure. We hiked to beautiful lakes, traveled through gorgeous m<img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjJ-DXfxO9bmo8QiyRuHV5RQr330ICikzFzFocESmAKp7rNSVe8Tt2KXFeuLWykX3-dppf9nGCkm_nzdCyRfj1RgxEVwKPBD4QkAAQ-wE7-q52IbHPkUcVCB0VKuj1SMb5ldNiXIA/s320/37814_1573189969078_1215394110_31610115_1959370_n.jpg" style="float:right; margin:0 0 10px 10px;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 214px;" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5505418910115004546" />eadows and fields, climbed up to explore a breathtaking glacier, swatted away annoying mosquitoes, and…my favorite part…went glissading down a mountain slope. What’s glissading, you ask? It basically means that you sit your butt down on a steep snow-coveredslope, push off, and slide down the mountain yelling, laughing and screaming the whole way (or at least I did!).<br /><br />As much as I loved the scenery, the immense mountains and lakes, and the adventure, my favorite part of this trip was watching what happened in our group. I saw students and leaders challenge and push themselves to take risks, explore uncharted territory and try something that may have been uncomfortable. I experienced what happened when people accepted one another unconditionally, which can be especially difficult after a week without showers or deodorant! We saw each other at our best and our worst, we shared our strengths and our struggles…and we still loved and accept<img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiwv0qS82tmwY7Q40m2pUadSxkAroIwtSwmBayYFksM9rtePzN0ZBjCr59KEC-Eyz6w30OSS7k6vgMGHsMkYLUscxrGRLv1xVUerkPzOR1NUsYKGarYs0dZFmEtZVez4_i0crsDmg/s320/DSCN2625.jpg" style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 240px;" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5505419192065970146" />ed one another. I had the privilege of listening to students pour out their hearts and tell me their life stories. The group became so much closer as people were honest, authentic and vulnerable. In the midst of God’s natural beauty, there were a whole lot of other beautiful things at work.<br /><br />More to come…<br /><br />Much love,<br />alair</div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><i>Thanks to Scott, Megan, Tylor and Charlene for the pictures!</i></div>Alairhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14473829775747851107noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30402958.post-33013877000218798672010-05-03T22:19:00.000-07:002010-05-03T22:35:49.220-07:00<div style="text-align: center;">Enough.<br /><br /><div style="text-align: left;">The past month of life has turned out to be very different than I expected. <br /><br />-I'm staying at Hospice a few weeks longer than I had planned in order to get all of the hours I need to graduate. Ok, I can deal with that...<br />- I need to log a few more hours of supervision. Kind of a surprise, but I can do that...<br />- My final senior paper for school is taking longer than usual. Well, that's frustrating...<br />- I thought I would graduate with a better GPA and higher honors. Now I'm pissed.<br /><br />Joking aside, these unplanned twists and turns have left me discouraged and disappointed. And I've laid all of the blame on one person: me. I have beat myself up for things not turning out the way I had planned, usually thinking things like, "Oh I should have worked harder" or "If only I wouldn't have done that" and, most often, "I didn't do enough." I have struggled with this my whole life, and now that I'm coming to the end of so much, I believe that God wants to heal me of the never-ending battle of perfectionism. And the way he's healing me is through other people.<br /><br />Over the past week, I have received more positive, encouraging, affirming truths about myself that far outnumber the lies I've been believing about who I am. <br />- My clients have given me flowers, cards, gifts and banana bread to thank me for helping them.<br />- My colleagues and supervisors have shared how much they have learned from me and how they have watched me succeed.<br />- My friends have spontaneously started telling me things they love about me.<br />- My professors and mentors have helped me realize that regardless of grades or honors or hours, I have done good work and have truly helped others heal. They've also helped me realize that God is healing me. As one professor said today, "God is more interested in your growth than in your comfort."<br /><br />These all came as surprises to me. How amazing that God uses unexpected gifts to restore unexpected pain...<br /><br />alair<br /><br /><br /></div></div>Alairhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14473829775747851107noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30402958.post-62600146019124081482010-04-18T14:10:00.000-07:002010-04-18T14:32:28.959-07:00<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjWqsRbMSpkeapDbxvm-qKNXrRNn8y2jQBsnXeW1qZLs2bg3FlMXJwMH-Rkxsddvv86umkgayozRHwJesajxMRzBNPySS27nzT_jiWMPxVcinRomJ03uY9SJctSxnUuOA3u4UcPFA/s1600/listen.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 0pt 10px 10px; float: right; cursor: pointer; width: 200px; height: 200px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjWqsRbMSpkeapDbxvm-qKNXrRNn8y2jQBsnXeW1qZLs2bg3FlMXJwMH-Rkxsddvv86umkgayozRHwJesajxMRzBNPySS27nzT_jiWMPxVcinRomJ03uY9SJctSxnUuOA3u4UcPFA/s200/listen.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5461593480187903458" border="0" /></a><br /><div style="text-align: center;">Quiet.<br /><div style="text-align: left;"><br />I've been sick for the past week with an annoying cold (not too surprising), but this time I completely lost my voice (kind of surprising). It's happened to me before, but I didn't really see it coming this time. For someone who likes to talk, it was really frustrating. For someone who is a therapist, it also means you're out of work (you can only do so many quiet "meditation" exercises and say "um hm" so many times before your clients catch on). So I was stuck at home, trying to "rest" my voice and feeling cut off from the outside world.<br /><br />All I could do was think... and listen.<br /><br />So I started thinking about how unfair this was- that I had to lose the tool I use most, in my job, with friends, for school and almost everything else. This wasn't what I had planned. Then I started realizing how this time in my life is not turning out as I expected. Despite all of my efforts and hours of work and prayers and studying, things were not going they way I thought. And that is not fair.<br /><br />Do you ever have those moments? Where you say, " ____ was not supposed to happen" or "Why does ____ happen to ____ but not to me?", and my favorite is "But I did ______, and it still didn't work." So in my mind, I cried out to God about how life just didn't seem fair. I literally tried to cry out to God but all that came out was something high-pitched and scratchy. So I decided it really was time to rest my voice...and listen.<br /><br />God did not intend for pain and sadness and hurt to be a part of this life, and certain things in this world were not <span style="font-style: italic;">supposed</span> to happen. The world we live in was not the world as it should have been. God reminded me of what he told Job: "Where were you when I laid the earth's foundations?" (Job 38.4) But then he made it more personal: "Alair, where were you when I created your life? When I planned out the order of your days? It may not seem fair to you, but I am fair and I have your life under control."<br /><br />I think I've learned to shut up...and listen.<br /><br />alair<br /></div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div></div>Alairhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14473829775747851107noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30402958.post-89848151816026698402010-04-11T09:54:00.000-07:002010-04-11T10:14:15.609-07:00<div style="text-align: center;">Closure.<br /><br /><div style="text-align: left;">In the next few months, I am going to have to say goodbye to a lot of things in my life. I have nine weeks left of graduate school and five weeks left of my internship with San Diego Hospice. That means saying farewell to professors, supervisors, clients, colleagues, homework and routine. While some of those I can part with gladly (i.e. homework), others I cannot bear to leave. For an entire year, I have been helping others cope with loss; I guess it's time to take my own advice.<br /><br /><br />Whenever I reach a point like this in life- a point where many different journeys are coming to a close- I always find myself going back to this poem. I heard this my senior year of college during my semester in San Francisco, and it has always brought me comfort. I think I need to meditate on it again...<br /><br /><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-style: italic;">I Teeter on the Brink of Endings</span><br /><div style="text-align: left;"><br />O God of endings, you promised to be with me always, even to the end of time.<br /><br />Move with me now in these occasions of last things,<br />Of shivering vulnerabilities and letting go:<br /> Letting go of parents gone, past gone<br /> Friends going, old self growing;<br /> Letting go of children grown, needs outgrown,<br /> Prejudices ingrown, illusions overgrown;<br /> Letting go of swollen grudges and shrunken loves.<br /><br />Be with me in my end of things, my letting go of dead things,<br />Dead ways, dead words, dead self I hold so tightly, defend so blindly,<br />Fear losing so frantically.<br /><br />I teeter on the brink of endings:<br /> Some anticipated, some resisted, some inevitable,<br /> Some surprising, most painful;<br /> And the mystery of them quiets me to awe.<br /><br />In silence, Lord, I feel now the curious blend of grief and gladness in me<br />Over the endings that the ticking and whirling of things brings;<br />And I listen for your leading<br /> To help me faithfully move on through the fear of my time to let go<br /> So the timeless may take hold of me.<br /><br />Ted Loder, <span style="font-style: italic;">Guerrillas of Grace</span><br /></div></div></div></div>Alairhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14473829775747851107noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30402958.post-77983494288705030052010-01-24T19:51:00.000-08:002010-01-24T20:02:19.330-08:00<div style="text-align: center;">Release.<br /><br /><div style="text-align: left;">This weekend, I had to say goodbye to two of my best friends. Last night, I drove my friend Abby to the airport and, standing as close as I could get to the security line, watched her get ready to board a plane for Haiti. She will be there for two weeks, working on a medical emergency response team. She got ready in a matter of days and volunteered her nursing skills to save others. I know she will do an amazing job.<br /><br />Tonight, I waved goodbye to my friend Sarah as she and her husband packed their cars to the brim and drove off to Colorado. They're starting off on a new adventure and waiting to see what God has in store for them. They were some of the first friends I made when I joined my church and I have countless memories with both of them. I know she has an incredible new season of life ahead of her.<br /><br />And so I'm sitting here crying because I miss them both. I am so proud of them because they made such fearless decisions, and yet those choices required a lot of sacrifice, pain, tears and heartache. I think I've learned this weekend that I have to release my friends to pursue the journeys that God has for them. If my future looks like an uncharted wilderness, and I'm working on finding my own way, how could I ever imagine that I could tell my friends what to do. I will walk with them and cheer for them and cry with them, but I will not tell them where to go. I may point out some signposts or even warn them about dangerous trails that I've taken, yet I have to trust that God will lead them where he wants them to go...<br /><br />...and I can't wait to see what amazing places those are!<br /><br />much love to you all,<br />alair<br /></div></div>Alairhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14473829775747851107noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30402958.post-52316694389621865402010-01-11T11:30:00.000-08:002010-01-11T23:22:25.957-08:00<div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:large;">New.</span></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><br />Well hello, 2010. </span></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br />I always love the beginning of a new year... a fresh start, a clean slate, a chance to do things over. For me, one of those resolutions is to keep this blog up-to-date! I slacked off at the end of '09 and now I'm back at it. Thanks for all of you who read and take a few moments to learn about what's been going on in my life...I greatly appreciate yo</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">ur time!</span></span><div style="text-align: left;"> <div style="text-align: left;"><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjxN-4YLjZH51M5EeG95ERrEtPjSRj1SlvjQT-jOhPrTkoPM9ZR1mW0D7mEa5D2IOr70EDCnYX0ijtJA3-Kuou-ZSxtZB7seO3IhM6_7pHJrr56zmwGQBTVNG378zVAYPkKycKvOg/s1600-h/sawtooth+backpacking+2008+082.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 214px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjxN-4YLjZH51M5EeG95ERrEtPjSRj1SlvjQT-jOhPrTkoPM9ZR1mW0D7mEa5D2IOr70EDCnYX0ijtJA3-Kuou-ZSxtZB7seO3IhM6_7pHJrr56zmwGQBTVNG378zVAYPkKycKvOg/s320/sawtooth+backpacking+2008+082.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5425748774502620434" border="0" /></a></div> </div> </div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">At the end of December, I usually start thinking about what the coming year holds. When I started picturing 2010 in my mind, the image I had was an uncharted wilderness. I was standing at the threshold of a new terrain, with only a compass, a map showing a few trails and possibly a lake (if I'm lucky) and a backpack of bare essentials.</span></span></div><br /><span style="font-family: arial;font-family:arial;font-size:100%;" >I am nervous, excited, antsy, terrifed and hopeful.</span><br /><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"></span></span><div style="text-align: left;"> </div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"> </span></span><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">Last year was a year full of change, and this year holds nothing less. I finish my internship with San Diego Hospice in four months, graduate in six, and then it's off to a whole new season of life. While I cannot wait to see what new possibilities come up, I also get so scared about the unknown. That wilderness holds so much beauty and excitement and challenge, but how often that comes with pain and heartache. </span></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">So that is why this blog is now called "fearless"...because that is what I believe God is calling me to be for this next year. Not ignorant or unprepared or foolish, but fearless because I am trusting in him and asking him to provide. I don't want to miss out on the journey because I'm too busy packing or planning or strategizing. Please keep me in your prayers as I go, and thanks for walking with me.</span></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">much love...</span></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">alair</span></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div>Alairhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14473829775747851107noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30402958.post-71917338528383289712009-09-27T21:54:00.000-07:002009-09-27T22:14:13.332-07:00<div style="text-align: center;"><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgRIBM1SGTp2Nu0hazkqL2sOHUu-a0S4YKOy4eD20tG6jB5bopVwn_V2JESzWlmj9lLnbgCZqltE87bKPW6IQKqClJjzPoJvcI02P0IfO4-nLnJVnzXAW2O7ycQZhYXZMhWs-LK8w/s1600-h/camping-coloring-pages-1.gif"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer; width: 200px; height: 127px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgRIBM1SGTp2Nu0hazkqL2sOHUu-a0S4YKOy4eD20tG6jB5bopVwn_V2JESzWlmj9lLnbgCZqltE87bKPW6IQKqClJjzPoJvcI02P0IfO4-nLnJVnzXAW2O7ycQZhYXZMhWs-LK8w/s200/camping-coloring-pages-1.gif" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5386381702014865762" border="0" /></a><span style="color: rgb(255, 255, 255);font-size:100%;" ><span style="font-family: verdana;">Camp</span></span><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: rgb(255, 255, 255);font-size:130%;" ><span style="font-family:verdana;"><br /></span></span><div style="text-align: left;"><span style=";font-family:verdana;font-size:130%;" ><span style="font-size:100%;"><span style="color: rgb(255, 255, 255);font-size:85%;" >I don't think I can put into words what the past weekend was like for me, so I think I'll just have to give you a few snapshots.</span><span style="font-size:85%;"><br /><br /></span><span style="color: rgb(255, 255, 255);font-size:85%;" >The basics: I spent the weekend at Camp Erin San Diego, one of many camps held for kids ages 6-17 who have lost a parent, relative, sibling or friend. These campers come for a weekend as part of their grief journey, to find fellow sojourners who are on the same road. They take part in fun camp activities, process their grief and emotions and meet other kids just like them who have experienced a loss. My role this weekend was to serve as a "camp counselor" for a group of amazing teenage girls. Myself, along with many other counselors, spent the entire time with our campers as they learned about themselves, shared their hearts, cried many tears and found that hope is possible in the midst of pain. </span><span style="font-size:85%;"><br /><br /></span><span style="color: rgb(255, 255, 255);font-size:85%;" >The highlights: This weekend, I got to be a friend...a counselor...a partner...a swimmer...a dancer...a support...a student...and a camper singing crazy songs that get stuck in your head, giggling about boys and hearing stories of some courageous, brave kids.</span><span style="font-size:85%;"><br /><br /></span><span style="color: rgb(255, 255, 255);font-size:85%;" >The after-effects: I'm exhausted, inspired, relieved, grateful, drained, energized, hopeful, reflective, and encouraged.</span><span style="font-size:85%;"><br /><br /></span><span style="color: rgb(255, 255, 255);font-size:85%;" >...and I still don't think I can put this weekend into words.</span><span style="font-size:85%;"><br /><br /></span><span style="color: rgb(255, 255, 255);font-size:85%;" >thanks for reading...</span><span style="font-size:85%;"><br /></span><span style="color: rgb(255, 255, 255);font-size:85%;" >alair</span><span style="font-size:85%;"><br /><br /></span><br /></span></span><span style="font-size:130%;"><span style="font-family:verdana;"></span></span></div><span style="font-size:130%;"></span></div>Alairhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14473829775747851107noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30402958.post-2632079906844053882009-07-12T15:24:00.000-07:002009-07-12T15:43:17.303-07:00<div style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: rgb(255, 255, 255);font-family:trebuchet ms;" ><span style="font-size:130%;">Be Yourself</span><br /><br /></span><div style="text-align: left;"><span style="color: rgb(255, 255, 255);font-family:trebuchet ms;" ><span style="font-size:100%;">Three years ago, I was in South Africa. I was on a trip that would change my life, my passion, and my idea of my calling. At first, I remember feeling so discouraged by languag</span></span><a style="color: rgb(255, 255, 255);" onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjTFDNEOoeZZXVocC9NX3txR1Fonp6AC4CEdlRY3JpiD2cfAwb1ErJQyzIfTzZoQE5V9BNm1Z9tqDAY3USBLlDpeCtkYcUItujNnO9lHvpoD0L-Xixr2SIh9vuKVw5zoxm_ldhvWg/s1600-h/IMG_0074.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 0pt 10px 10px; float: right; cursor: pointer; width: 200px; height: 134px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjTFDNEOoeZZXVocC9NX3txR1Fonp6AC4CEdlRY3JpiD2cfAwb1ErJQyzIfTzZoQE5V9BNm1Z9tqDAY3USBLlDpeCtkYcUItujNnO9lHvpoD0L-Xixr2SIh9vuKVw5zoxm_ldhvWg/s200/IMG_0074.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5357707810643778434" border="0" /></a><span style="color: rgb(255, 255, 255);font-family:trebuchet ms;" ><span style="font-size:100%;">e and culture barriers, and I was constantly questioning what I was supposed to be "d</span></span><span style="color: rgb(255, 255, 255);font-family:trebuchet ms;" ><span style="font-size:100%;">oi</span></span><span style="color: rgb(255, 255, 255);font-family:trebuchet ms;" ><span style="font-size:100%;">ng" on this</span></span><span style="color: rgb(255, 255, 255);font-family:trebuchet ms;" ><span style="font-size:100%;"> trip. Finally, one of the missionaries confronted me with a phrase that shifted my entire perspective: "Alair, just show up." That's it? Really</span></span><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;"><span style="font-size:100%;"><span style="color: rgb(255, 255, 255);">? I'm not supposed to be orchestrating life-changing conversations or inspire hope in the masses or perform miracles? Wow. All I can do is show up and then see what God wants to do.</span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(255, 255, 255);">Three days ago, I was at San Diego Hospice in a counseling session. Part of my internship requires videotaping several counseling sessions with clients, and then showing my "work" to my supervisors and colleagues. My first video was a huge learning experience: I received some very helpful feedback and I was quite proud of the fact that I am actually doing therapy! After reviewing my video several times, one major thing stuck out to me: I was holding back from being myself. The phrase from South Africa haunts me; I wasn't showing up. So that's what I need to do? Really? I'm not supposed to be incorporating multiple theories and psychological data or create this "ah-ha" moment for clients or pull complex meanings out of stories? Wow. While I do believe in the importance of all that I've learned in school and all of the training I've received, nothing can make up for the power of being present and bringing my entire self into the therapy room.</span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(255, 255, 255);">If we're still discussing the theme of Change, then this was a tremendous change for me. And once I decided to change and actually be more authentic and real with my clients, the changes in our work together have been incredible. This type of mindset is so counter-intuitive in our culture, our workplaces, our homes and even our churches. We send two messages: be yourself, but work hard to make sure that "yourself" measures up and accomplishes a lot. Why can't we simply rest in the message of "Just show up." Yes, be prepared; yes, learn and practice and train; yes, take responsibility. And then, show up and see what God wants to do...</span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(255, 255, 255);">praying that for you all,</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(255, 255, 255);">alair</span><br /></span></span><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;"></span></div></div>Alairhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14473829775747851107noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30402958.post-22624444974390517272009-03-01T10:31:00.000-08:002009-03-01T10:49:23.905-08:00<div align="center"><span style="color:#ffffff;">One-Word Check-In</span></div><br /><div align="center"><span style="color:#ffffff;"></span></div><br /><div align="left"><span style="color:#ffffff;">This past week has been one of the fullest in a long time...and I mean that in many different senses of the word. I was part of planning a huge event at work and then also took part in a huge conference through my church, "coaching" one of the small groups that met together throughout the conference. I was already feeling somewhat drained and exhausted going into these two events, yet I cannot describe right now the incredible feeling of fullness, satisfaction and enthusiasm that I have now after all is done. </span></div><br /><div align="left"><span style="color:#ffffff;"></span></div><br /><div align="left"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj7ZXA-FJ6Ocfn-MUPVUuIhdh44Z0yn9eiMq31GSzryYsK8lgKMA__iuCi0Gyacwu09mVhc2U4BEdZ4hyQcwoCRsQwrcHy-SDMxmRKkFA1AyAlQQJnDiYte8z_dMEDyk2Ro_E2eqw/s1600-h/Gasgauge3.jpg"><span style="color:#ffffff;"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5308293108396901826" style="FLOAT: left; MARGIN: 0px 10px 10px 0px; WIDTH: 200px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 133px" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj7ZXA-FJ6Ocfn-MUPVUuIhdh44Z0yn9eiMq31GSzryYsK8lgKMA__iuCi0Gyacwu09mVhc2U4BEdZ4hyQcwoCRsQwrcHy-SDMxmRKkFA1AyAlQQJnDiYte8z_dMEDyk2Ro_E2eqw/s200/Gasgauge3.jpg" border="0" /></span></a><span style="color:#ffffff;">At the conference for church, we would meet periodically in our small groups and do a "one-word check-in". Each person would pick one word to describe where they are at in that moment, whether that pertains to their physical/mental/emotional/spiritual state of being. So, in order to sum up the past few amazing days, I bent the rules a bit and chose a few words for me...</span></div><br /><div align="left"><span style="color:#ffffff;"></span></div><br /><div align="left"><span style="color:#ffffff;"><em>Full</em>... My soul is full and overflowing. I was able to experience and be a part of situations, events and lives in ways that basically cause me to burst with excitement. Getting to plan parts of my work event and create experiences for students visiting the school... coaching a group of 6 women where we could talk, share, laugh, learn together... meeting a ton of new people... this is the language I speak and this fills me with such joy! I realized that I also get filled up when I am around supportive, encouraging friends and that community is essential to life; we cannot do this on our own.</span></div><br /><div align="left"><span style="color:#ffffff;"></span></div><br /><div align="left"><span style="color:#ffffff;"><em>Alive</em>... The church conference was focused around learning more about your own personality and strengths, and then how those can play out in all areas of life. One seminar I went to encouraged us to write down moments throughout our day when we have the chance to do the things we love. These are the moments that make you feel strong, that give you energy and that leave you wanting more. I could pick about 20 moments over the past few days where I was able to use my own giftings and strengths, and it energized me in a whole new way.</span></div><br /><div align="left"><span style="color:#ffffff;"></span></div><br /><div align="left"><span style="color:#ffffff;"><em>Encouraged</em>... As I've written before, God is changing a lot in my life, including me. In the midst of all that change, He is also confirming things in me about my calling, my passions and my strengths. There is no doubt in my mind that I love people, I love hearing people's stories and I love creating experiences for people to enjoy. These were all confirmations that reminded me of who I am. </span></div><br /><div align="left"><span style="color:#ffffff;"></span></div><br /><div align="left"><span style="color:#ffffff;"><em>Inspired</em>... My church's theme this year is "risk", especially in the area of sharing our faith and the good news of the Gospel. I know that God wants me to step out in new ways and I'm excited to see what that looks like.</span></div><br /><div align="left"><span style="color:#ffffff;"></span></div><br /><div align="left"><span style="color:#ffffff;">So what about you? What is your word for today? My prayer is that you would find those moments in life that you love, that make you feel strong, and that fill you up.</span></div><br /><div align="left"><span style="color:#ffffff;"></span></div><br /><div align="left"><span style="color:#ffffff;">alair</span></div><br /><div align="center"></div>Alairhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14473829775747851107noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30402958.post-48790552760702684252009-02-15T22:19:00.000-08:002009-02-15T22:39:11.340-08:00<span style="color:#ffffff;">Welcome to The Sunday Edition.</span><br /><br /><span style="color:#ffffff;"></span><br /><br /><span style="color:#ffffff;">It's a new year, so I figured a new title is in order. My hope is to post something (even just 10 words) every Sunday, so I can be consistent and so you all can feel free to check this right along with your weekend paper. So, same blog address...new blog name. :)</span><br /><br /><span style="color:#ffffff;"></span><br /><br /><span style="color:#ffffff;">I think this year is going to bring along even more changes. More than just a website, I truly believe that "change" is going to be a theme for 2009. At the end of 2008, I started looking ahead and thinking about all that was to come in the next year. I ran through the various parts of my life and realized how many (if not all) would be changing in some way.</span><br /><br /><span style="color:#ffffff;"></span><br /><br /><span style="color:#ffffff;">My internship for my grad program is starting in a few months, a huge shift in focus from studying and writing papers to actually seeing clients.</span><br /><br /><span style="color:#ffffff;"></span><br /><br /><span style="color:#ffffff;">My work situation will change to part-time.</span><br /><br /><span style="color:#ffffff;"></span><br /><br /><span style="color:#ffffff;">I've transitioned out of leading a community/home fellowship group for church and am transitioning in to some other roles with small groups and mission opportunities.</span><br /><br /><span style="color:#ffffff;"></span><br /><br /><span style="color:#ffffff;">My daily schedule will change, my finances will change, my free time will change.</span><br /><br /><span style="color:#ffffff;"></span><br /><br /><span style="color:#ffffff;">My understanding of myself will change as I'm put in new situations.</span><br /><br /><span style="color:#ffffff;"></span><br /><br /><span style="color:#ffffff;">In all these things, I'm actually looking forward to change. While I will certainly feel uncomfortable or unsettled in most of these situations, I also feel ready to embark upon something new. I'm ready to see what this new season of life will look like and see a little farther down of the road of where God is taking me.</span><br /><br /><span style="color:#ffffff;"></span><br /><br /><span style="color:#ffffff;">Along with changes in my life, I'm also looking for where I'm supposed to make changes. The theme for my church this year is "risk" and tonight the pastor was challenging all of us to see how God is inviting us to impact the world. We are meant for greater purposes than to go through life, managing all the "changes"; we are called to make the changes.</span><br /><br /><span style="color:#ffffff;"></span><br /><br /><span style="color:#ffffff;">So... a year of change. What's changing for me? What's changing for you? Where are changes being made? Keep that conversation going!</span><br /><br /><span style="color:#ffffff;"></span><br /><br /><span style="color:#ffffff;">take care, friends...</span><br /><br /><span style="color:#ffffff;">alair</span>Alairhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14473829775747851107noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30402958.post-80152971045333985712008-09-22T09:27:00.000-07:002008-09-25T10:28:37.604-07:00<span style="color:#ffffff;">hi friends...<br /><br /><br />hope you are all doing well! the past few weeks have been pretty busy, as usual. in college, i remember getting tired of people always saying "oh i'm so busy" or "life is crazy right now", so i'll try not to follow that usual path. as i like to say, life is full of good things and just a lot of them! i've had some amazing experiences in the past few months - backpacking and camping trips, work retreats and events, time with family, a huge exam for school, friends getting engaged and then the everyday stuff too. I have been learning a lot, so i wanted to share some of that with you all.<br /><br /><br />back in august, i went on another backpacking trip with my two friends Sarah and Abby. we decided to go exploring in the Sequoia National Park, in the Kings Canyon area. </span><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhweHM_vOGzTpMQsE_kduBKOO4M7ruiI6YY8Fc4DOnjG-Uv3M_Xe59GRypyEYrLqSUt74knIKWEEmGMu62ZHr9mfy4-J5Ia79z_z2cmQoHeUCr0Yk-RgN3U3zzmgrk-C-B5lj3-xQ/s1600-h/112_0416.JPG"><span style="color:#ffffff;"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5249811716843377490" style="FLOAT: right; MARGIN: 0px 0px 10px 10px; CURSOR: hand" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhweHM_vOGzTpMQsE_kduBKOO4M7ruiI6YY8Fc4DOnjG-Uv3M_Xe59GRypyEYrLqSUt74knIKWEEmGMu62ZHr9mfy4-J5Ia79z_z2cmQoHeUCr0Yk-RgN3U3zzmgrk-C-B5lj3-xQ/s200/112_0416.JPG" border="0" /></span></a><span style="color:#ffffff;">we were so proud of ourselves that we planned out the whole trip and prepared everything all on our own! thankfully, we didn't have to do any midnight rescues...instead, we got caught in a thunderstorm with hail, we had a bit of a scare with our water filter, we spent one night by a lake literally at the top of a mountain and we tried some new freeze-dried desserts that were so terrible we ended up burying what we couldn't eat! the country up there was beautiful- everything from meadows blooming with flowers of every color to wooded areas with streams running through the middle </span><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEio7zIZez-B2Dl8HPtueYogPZYLkyKuvHu-waCRqd-TdCPNGlV4c7KNRUgV_dTRT-lCheCFw8fntlgn-EwY3f-Vhyphenhyphendn0v-9Bu3lN9Ks2gKYfU4DB4UpuaXFYxhwPbtlZgOtokKHWg/s1600-h/112_0419.JPG"><span style="color:#ffffff;"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5249814798434639106" style="FLOAT: left; MARGIN: 0px 10px 10px 0px; CURSOR: hand" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEio7zIZez-B2Dl8HPtueYogPZYLkyKuvHu-waCRqd-TdCPNGlV4c7KNRUgV_dTRT-lCheCFw8fntlgn-EwY3f-Vhyphenhyphendn0v-9Bu3lN9Ks2gKYfU4DB4UpuaXFYxhwPbtlZgOtokKHWg/s200/112_0419.JPG" border="0" /></span></a><span style="color:#ffffff;">to barren rocks and cliffs with gravel and slate. One night, we made camp in the middle of the forest and we were totally alone. It was incredible! As we were getting ready for bed, we saw the sun set over the mountains and watched as the landscape changed from reds to magentas to purples long after the sun had passed over the mountain range. We sat there in silence and just took it all in. As I sat there, I thought about different things going on in my life, different questions I had, and as I looked out over this beautiful scene, suddenly God reminded me: "alair, where were you when i made all of this? where were you when i set the sun in motion? i have everything under control..." such an amazing thought and so comforting!<br /><br /><br />a few weeks later, i went on a camping trip to Yosemite with four of my girlfriends and we had a great time! i forgot the luxuries of not carrying a huge backpack around, of getting to bring tons of food and of not having to set up camp every night! we had a great campsite in the Yosemite Valley and spent a couple days hiking, eating a lot of food (especially s'mores) and just enjoying nature. one of the days, Abby and I had planned to climb Half Dome so we got up real early and </span><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhlLW3shPpPvgpJOT-LqaYSvMFO8JfRiywgHrCAnPQzC296m_XK_p-Yv-CcO-vie_tcRq8DOsaqar202U417jpraU15qD4Js7LcchcD2TpkzchHsHq-CdQYJ7-QgxfGy0wFeDYR4A/s1600-h/112_0420.JPG"><span style="color:#ffffff;"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5249813779919635570" style="FLOAT: left; MARGIN: 0px 10px 10px 0px; CURSOR: hand" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhlLW3shPpPvgpJOT-LqaYSvMFO8JfRiywgHrCAnPQzC296m_XK_p-Yv-CcO-vie_tcRq8DOsaqar202U417jpraU15qD4Js7LcchcD2TpkzchHsHq-CdQYJ7-QgxfGy0wFeDYR4A/s200/112_0420.JPG" border="0" /></span></a><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="color:#ffffff;">headed out for our long day's journey. this was probably one of the most difficult/scariest/amazing/rewarding experiences of my life! everything about it- the hike up, the climb up the cables, the winds at the top, the climb back down- was so exhausting yet at the same time pushed me farther than i had gone before. we had an amazing experience and finished the whole trip in about 9 hours! (click on that picture on the left and you'll see us at the top!)</span><br /><br /><br /><br /></span><span style="color:#ffffff;">after spending all this time away from the regular routine of life and outside in creation, i kept</span><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEitW_pIC7RPVIJC5DEsa3G01O_SkSgqXczWLtP_IyIgqwDDZkeKkLieoyiZCyPwwj12FUI08ACAtKSuCq7DHEzlEI1kamz9OtXlRjGl8tCm0sF6j6rDeRK5vwJc1vk-dyn6bIjwDw/s1600-h/112_0435.JPG"><span style="color:#ffffff;"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5249814076640816562" style="FLOAT: right; MARGIN: 0px 0px 10px 10px; CURSOR: hand" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEitW_pIC7RPVIJC5DEsa3G01O_SkSgqXczWLtP_IyIgqwDDZkeKkLieoyiZCyPwwj12FUI08ACAtKSuCq7DHEzlEI1kamz9OtXlRjGl8tCm0sF6j6rDeRK5vwJc1vk-dyn6bIjwDw/s200/112_0435.JPG" border="0" /></span></a><span style="color:#ffffff;"> thinking about how this relates to my theme of story. in the midst of all the hiking and climbing and pumping water and sleeping outside, i realized something huge: the beauty and magnitude of these places will never change. there are certain aspects of a story that will never change. if i asked 5 people to tell me the story of Peter Pan (ok, i just picked a random one!), they would all tell variations of the story, yet some aspects and characters would always be included. no matter what is going on in life or what issues i'm facing, nature is always beautiful, the mountains are always majestic and the lakes are always peaceful. these are the constants in our stories, and they may be different for you than they are for me. regardless of what you see as constant in life, hang on to that as a source of peace and comfort and take time to enjoy those places or people or moments. we need to be grounded every so often by reminding ourselves of what is true and what is secure....</span><br /><br /><br /><span style="color:#ffffff;">much love to you all...</span><br /><br /><br /><span style="color:#ffffff;">alair</span><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><span style="color:#3366ff;"></span>Alairhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14473829775747851107noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30402958.post-42223614608306993972008-05-20T12:43:00.000-07:002008-05-20T17:14:38.300-07:00<span style="font-family:verdana;color:#3366ff;">The past few weeks have been filled with a lot of great stories, and since many have asked, I thought it best to just write them all down here. </span><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;color:#3366ff;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;color:#3366ff;">About a week and a half ago, I went up to Portland to visit some good friends from Westmont. I hadn't seen them in at least two or three years, so we were way overdue for a visit. I cannot explain how great it was to catch up, see Portland, have coffee, go to the Saturday market and just hang out. I got to see my friend Christina (I wrote about her recently and asked for prayer about her brain tumor) and she is amazing and healed! Her story is an incredible encouragement to me and gives me strength to trust in the Lord and live life to its fullest every day. I had dinner with friends that I worked with as an RA and spent a semester with in San Francisco, and it was amazing to look around and see where we are and what we have done in life since that time. I'm currently serving on the board of a non-profit organization called These Numbers Have Faces (<a href="http://www.thesenumbers.com/">http://www.thesenumbers.com/</a>). My good friends who started the organization live in Portland, so I got to see the main "headquarters" for the organization (aka my friend Justin's attic). They are working so hard for this cause, and simply being around them got me thinking and dreaming and brainstorming with them. After this trip, I was overwhelmed by the friends that God has given me for my journey and I love listening to each one of their stories. When I was having coffee with my friend Joy, she reminded me of just how important community is for life. We cannot walk through life alone; we must have one another.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-family:Verdana;color:#3366ff;">This became all the more evident this past weekend when I went backpacking with my friends Abby and Sarah (we went backpacking together last summer). We decided to take a short trip, just to "get away", and the timing was perfect. Looking back, I think we all needed this time desperately to think, be still, be challenged and encourage one another. At different times throughout the trip, we were able to be honest with each other and also speak truth into one another's lives. </span><br /><span style="font-family:Verdana;color:#3366ff;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:Verdana;color:#3366ff;">The whole trip took a new turn late Sunday night. Around midnight, we were woken up by a woman shining a flashlight into our tent, calling out for help because something was wrong with her husband. We all quickly got dressed and walked over to the couple's tent where the man was laying inside. As a nurse, Abby was quick to know exactly what to look for and did an amazing job of staying calm and assessing the situation. The man had severe abdominal pain, was throwing up and could not even stand up, while his wife stood nearby crying and wondering what was going on. We all knew that this man needed immediate medical attention, so we decided that we needed to pack out and get him help. At this point, I'm still feeling disoriented but I have never packed a bag so fast in my whole life! In 20 minutes, we had our tent, sleeping bag, supplies and clothes packed and ready to go, and we set out on the trail at 12:30am.</span><br /><span style="font-family:Verdana;color:#3366ff;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:Verdana;color:#3366ff;">We took the same trail out that we took coming in, and we knew it was about 6.6 miles back to our car. The trail basically takes you up and over this mountain. We only had two flashlights and the moon to guide us, and thankfully we had pumped extra water the day before. Some parts of the trail were open and bright, others were dense and eerie. All I remember thinking was, "just keep walking. Follow the girls and put one foot in front of the other." I couldn't let my mind wander or else I would think of every scary movie or TV show that takes place in some creepy forest. There was a sort of quiet calm over everything and the occasional bird chirping reminded me that we weren't the only ones awake in the wilderness. We just kept hiking for the next 4 hours in the dark, knowing that we had to make good time and knowing that the couple couldn't do anything but wait.</span><br /><span style="font-family:Verdana;color:#3366ff;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:Verdana;color:#3366ff;">We finally made it back to my car around 4:30am, drove down the hill a ways, and called 911. The dispatcher must have been as tired as we were because she kept thinking that <em>we</em> were the ones with abdominal pain. We gave her our location and she sent the fire department to find us. When they arrived, we had to explain once again that "no, we aren't in pain" and "no, the man is not with us!"- he's 6.6 miles out in the woods! The firefighters were ready to hike in and rescue him, and yet we all hoped that they could secure a helicopter (or "bird" as they called it) to save the man instead. They took us back to the fire station, and again, I thought of every movie where people are saved and they get taken back to some station, given blankets and hot coffee. Everything was true this time except the blankets! We had to give them our information and then locate the man's position on a map. They asked us a lot of questions about his condition and the trails we took, and finally they found a helicopter that could go in after him. We left the station about 7:30am, tired, extremely dirty, hungry and thirsty, and we stumbled into an IHOP for breakfast. The Rooty Tooty Fresh n Fruity never tasted so good.</span><br /><span style="font-family:Verdana;color:#3366ff;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:Verdana;color:#3366ff;">As I write this, I still cannot believe it happened. We did hear later on that the man was rescued and taken to a hospital, yet we never received a final confirmation as to what was wrong or as to his current condition. Thankfully, he seemed to be doing well. I could not have done this without Abby or Sarah, and they gave me the strength and courage to keep moving on even though my legs felt like they couldn't. I haven't fully processed this whole experience, yet what I do know is that I learned so much about fear and perseverence and grace and pride and faith and trust. As cliche as the metaphor might be, there are times in life when you walk through the "dark night of the soul" and all you can do is take one step at a time. It's at those times when you need people in front and behind you, where you can follow their light and their steps and they help you to keep going. I've said before that something is cliche until it becomes true for you, and now I know this to be true. The story of your life needs more characters than just you and I'm thankful to have all of you in my story...</span><br /><span style="font-family:Verdana;color:#3366ff;">much love...</span><br /><span style="font-family:Verdana;color:#3366ff;">alair</span>Alairhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14473829775747851107noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30402958.post-21494750167206256142008-04-28T10:08:00.000-07:002008-12-09T13:32:58.274-08:00<span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;color:#3366ff;">Hi friends...</span><br /><div><div><div><div><div><div><div><div><div><div><span style="font-family:Trebuchet MS;color:#3366ff;"></span></div><div><span style="font-family:Trebuchet MS;color:#3366ff;">Well, as most of you know- I'm back from Ireland! This past month has been pretty busy as usual with work and school and everything in between, so I apologize for not getting pictures and stories up here sooner. In a few words, the trip was...amazing...beautiful...refreshing...surprising...incredibly fun! I'll share a few stories with you as I walk through where we went and what we did. No pots of gold or rainbows or the like...just 6 girls in a "minibus" with our cameras, guidebooks, Euros and snacks. It doesn't get much better than that.</span></div><div><span style="font-family:Trebuchet MS;color:#3366ff;"></span></div><div><span style="font-family:Trebuchet MS;color:#3366ff;">We flew into Dublin on a red eye flight, so we started out trip bright and early right off of <a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgBES9vNjvFBNO7EGedyUdiCq6aVZf35gIj0jlh7cze89yKWRgOUyZCVQIE-HjEDDYRhPYawAdCthvoKws1Lky2dOg3i_rD7MeaJPhePkJWhRtvrJCwKmgvRn4ICCYJHtY1VAlE6Q/s1600-h/IMG_0393.JPG"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5195277613505028658" style="FLOAT: left; MARGIN: 0px 10px 10px 0px; CURSOR: hand" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgBES9vNjvFBNO7EGedyUdiCq6aVZf35gIj0jlh7cze89yKWRgOUyZCVQIE-HjEDDYRhPYawAdCthvoKws1Lky2dOg3i_rD7MeaJPhePkJWhRtvrJCwKmgvRn4ICCYJHtY1VAlE6Q/s200/IMG_0393.JPG" border="0" /></a>the plane. We spent the day touring the city, visiting Trinity College, Christ Cathedral, the Temple Bar section of town and walking pretty much around the whole downtown part of Dublin. I withdrew way too many Euros from the bank (quite funny, now looking back on it) and I just chalk this up to the jet lag and lack of sleep! By the end of the day, we were<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhtGmPE9WAisvvAfTG24Jq7s6zuEpW_iFQptZFSZf4nRS289RwISNnuYsA-Y19osDPHIyQ5yMBXeEIg0higC7rj_AlctLghugz8UEEn2YjaqSCie70dLga1tl-t2mF8FMJKQDX66Q/s1600-h/IMG_0421.JPG"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5195278283519926850" style="FLOAT: right; MARGIN: 0px 0px 10px 10px; CURSOR: hand" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhtGmPE9WAisvvAfTG24Jq7s6zuEpW_iFQptZFSZf4nRS289RwISNnuYsA-Y19osDPHIyQ5yMBXeEIg0higC7rj_AlctLghugz8UEEn2YjaqSCie70dLga1tl-t2mF8FMJKQDX66Q/s200/IMG_0421.JPG" border="0" /></a> anxious and ready to leave the city and find the more "traditional" and authentic Irish life. The next morning, we piled into our rental car that could have probably fit about 15 people and headed for the countryside.</span></div><br /><br /><div><span style="font-family:Trebuchet MS;color:#3366ff;">Most of our trip involved driving through the countryside and then we could stop whenever <a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjJHePiCY6t2mafOAN5ZteEoxES7XalMfaPeY84QM4U7Zn0kd8pDaOwYDf7K4zCRKU4hTXF0COe4slL_22bDXnImgZS3fsso5s1jS-r24btXrmX4ntwtKdeKYkOkwlHU35WUoUyyw/s1600-h/P1000271.JPG"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5195278910585152082" style="FLOAT: left; MARGIN: 0px 10px 10px 0px; CURSOR: hand" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjJHePiCY6t2mafOAN5ZteEoxES7XalMfaPeY84QM4U7Zn0kd8pDaOwYDf7K4zCRKU4hTXF0COe4slL_22bDXnImgZS3fsso5s1jS-r24btXrmX4ntwtKdeKYkOkwlHU35WUoUyyw/s200/P1000271.JPG" border="0" /></a>we wanted. Maps and guidebooks and magazines littered the front dashboard of the van so we had plenty of suggestions as to where we should pull over for the best views, food or sights to see. We visited Blarney Castle where we tried to find our luck by kissing the famous Blarney Stone. Did you know you have to basically hang upside-down to kiss that?! I think the castles and <a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjTFlvSa1V1FqKCAj8YWH2dMXONpAjFgtl-mVn5VNjt5sug3Cm-9gZWrnOSBbJl5Ea05FqpvS_tcblREVQczqp37VD8NLSLz4IxpGuzKVwpiosHt93FqK4aFSFoYrUnt9EEPxSBNg/s1600-h/IMG_0432.JPG"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5195279511880573538" style="FLOAT: right; MARGIN: 0px 0px 10px 10px; CURSOR: hand" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjTFlvSa1V1FqKCAj8YWH2dMXONpAjFgtl-mVn5VNjt5sug3Cm-9gZWrnOSBbJl5Ea05FqpvS_tcblREVQczqp37VD8NLSLz4IxpGuzKVwpiosHt93FqK4aFSFoYrUnt9EEPxSBNg/s200/IMG_0432.JPG" border="0" /></a>ruins were some of my favorite places to see, especially when I would begin to imagine who had lived there hundreds of years ago and the fact that I was walking through their bedrooms and kitchens and dungeons. </span></div><br /><br /><div><span style="font-family:Trebuchet MS;color:#3366ff;">We spent an entire day driving around the Ring of Kerry, following the outline of the peninsula along the cliffs and the coast. I don't think I can describe (and these pictures don't do justice to) the incredible beauty of Ireland. We read <a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgCyH7Lty7cQ67aruLxVvcVNDlEVvfE_Z4gOSnD8mgW7DZT43wqTTDZ26CpLxa1P745_r9g5l8_eR-bLR_9S1ssgt3iLgSTltLvyMwnwPmEWHu2-3kyluWkw1rgQ3pmBRmUR69dJg/s1600-h/IMG_0492.JPG"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5195279937082335858" style="FLOAT: left; MARGIN: 0px 10px 10px 0px; CURSOR: hand" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgCyH7Lty7cQ67aruLxVvcVNDlEVvfE_Z4gOSnD8mgW7DZT43wqTTDZ26CpLxa1P745_r9g5l8_eR-bLR_9S1ssgt3iLgSTltLvyMwnwPmEWHu2-3kyluWkw1rgQ3pmBRmUR69dJg/s200/IMG_0492.JPG" border="0" /></a>about the green hills, dotted with white specks of sheep, yet I cannot really explain how breathtaking these views can be. My favorite part of the Ring of Kerry was the last stop on the driving tour: the Muckross House. This gigantic Victorian mansion sits near a serene lake, with huge expanses of lawns and tree-covered paths leading in all directions. We took a horse and carriage ride around the property to these great waterfalls. The sun was slowly setting as<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjDk-Qkl2AlpBprDkhcNtTI5mRJwzRi8S8UdM5IC38RT-4rP9y4jsqOQ61KR-TN-8uLknFHiHl3SXDXykFta4JT59CJF7S26T7fXurFMgVJSYUPLfN7-odJpLhkITVuDbRWdgirfw/s1600-h/IMG_0505.JPG"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5195280435298542210" style="FLOAT: right; MARGIN: 0px 0px 10px 10px; CURSOR: hand" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjDk-Qkl2AlpBprDkhcNtTI5mRJwzRi8S8UdM5IC38RT-4rP9y4jsqOQ61KR-TN-8uLknFHiHl3SXDXykFta4JT59CJF7S26T7fXurFMgVJSYUPLfN7-odJpLhkITVuDbRWdgirfw/s200/IMG_0505.JPG" border="0" /></a> we finished our ride, so Sarah and I decided to lay on the lawn for a while, staring out at the lake and soaking in the peace and quiet. It was perfect.</span></div><br /><br /><div><span style="font-family:Trebuchet MS;color:#3366ff;">Toward the end of our trip, we took a ferry to the Aran Islands and rented bikes to explore the main island. Abby and I had every intention of following the usual route, yet we finally decided that charting our own course was way more fun! We got such a good work-out, <a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhJabo_JMFBVSO_qz5EMvYBbGPAEd4WnhhvfC5iV6nvtCrLx08NLy3uizxv3rm2xPn8H5EmM5UusUBtGyiH-tbz4RERS32wb7wy_6nHwkhERlENCit4g3anWs0g_fhFPsmwJgmmVw/s1600-h/IMG_0586.JPG"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5195280972169454226" style="FLOAT: right; MARGIN: 0px 0px 10px 10px; CURSOR: hand" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhJabo_JMFBVSO_qz5EMvYBbGPAEd4WnhhvfC5iV6nvtCrLx08NLy3uizxv3rm2xPn8H5EmM5UusUBtGyiH-tbz4RERS32wb7wy_6nHwkhERlENCit4g3anWs0g_fhFPsmwJgmmVw/s200/IMG_0586.JPG" border="0" /></a>partially because the bikes were lousy ans partially because there were so many hills! I think that was one huge lesson I learned on this trip: it's ok if life/plans/events don't turn out the way you think they will. Actually, that is almost a guarantee! We couldn't always find our B&B, our minibus got stuck in the mud and we ripped the bumper off trying to get it out, the cliffs of Moher were fogged over and all we did see were the bathroom facilities, and Sarah and I got chased by a wild horse as we wandered through a field of sheep! I came to realize that these were the uplanned, spontaneous moments, yet they were some of my favorite memories of the entire trip. The question isn't whether life will not go according to plan; the question is what you are going to do when that happens. I'm so thankful for these dear friends who help me laugh and have fun in the midst of it all.</div><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5195281444615856802" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; CURSOR: hand; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgynh8IGB-Ho75FazRASR4EekzYZoqsQnz804KH6iEW6SGyBwbW8MBokV0x6c27MHiyGv1BuNsxwKIX9ad6OlSPY-vmkK5Q_bi9PECUWEdz9Fj2vGqIOeQbJIGjdceBvJnc73cFwA/s200/IMG_3662.JPG" border="0" /></span><span style="font-family:Trebuchet MS;color:#3366ff;">much love...</span></div><div><span style="font-family:Trebuchet MS;color:#3366ff;">alair</span><br /><br /><div><span style="font-family:Trebuchet MS;color:#3366ff;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjg-4FAbJaSvekJG_cTnIf-dMW5aeT9VbL12xZTKRPkSRnLXsL0UK_9dBdQUXFdgu0BmaQrDZhXVUCpi9uQ3B5sE5_ZO2tYvzEjWGuOv7nwXNJtHT_u076l2BePj9ObUf8dmtGaLw/s1600-h/IMG_0452.JPG"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5195282024436441778" style="FLOAT: left; MARGIN: 0px 10px 10px 0px; CURSOR: hand" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjg-4FAbJaSvekJG_cTnIf-dMW5aeT9VbL12xZTKRPkSRnLXsL0UK_9dBdQUXFdgu0BmaQrDZhXVUCpi9uQ3B5sE5_ZO2tYvzEjWGuOv7nwXNJtHT_u076l2BePj9ObUf8dmtGaLw/s200/IMG_0452.JPG" border="0" /></a>Oh- the wild horse story! :) I have to explain this one... Sarah and I decided to "explore" in a nearby field of sheep so we got up early one morning and walked down the road to one of the many sheep fields near our B&B. The morning mist was still heavy on the ground and we had a great time walking around with sheep amidst all of the loud "baaa"s across the field. I was crouching down to take (what would have been!) an amazing picture of the mist, sheep, mountains and rising sun when suddenly I hear Sarah yell, "Alair!" I look over my shoulder and see a horse charging right at us!! We hadn't seen any horses around and to this day I do not know where he came from. So...we start running! I'm thinking, "holy crap! i'm going to be trampled in a sheep field in Ireland!" Sarah yells at me to run towards the one, lonely tree in the whole field, that blessed tree that saved my life. We get behind the tree and the horse runs right up to us. It's snorting and stomping the ground and breathing fire..ok, i'm exaggerating! But, it did take a little while before we could calm him down. Finally, after we regained our composure, we realized that the horse just wanted to play! We pet him and <a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgDjfHUqWryQdsf3GG2qZcT7g-iJH_-a9kkQjOdid3Xz0A5UdL971E17NTBKVYmxjDLo1hV4v_w9pSEs_PK_mlThzzs5ctmniUb-pUe4Wn_pBLp4xxtURoovczSN685CyFopvHbLQ/s1600-h/IMG_0466.JPG"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5195282402393563842" style="FLOAT: right; MARGIN: 0px 0px 10px 10px; CURSOR: hand" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgDjfHUqWryQdsf3GG2qZcT7g-iJH_-a9kkQjOdid3Xz0A5UdL971E17NTBKVYmxjDLo1hV4v_w9pSEs_PK_mlThzzs5ctmniUb-pUe4Wn_pBLp4xxtURoovczSN685CyFopvHbLQ/s200/IMG_0466.JPG" border="0" /></a>took pictures with him and he walked us back to the fence when we had to leave. The rest of the day, Sarah and I would just look at each other and laugh, still in disbelief that we had been chased through a sheep field by a wild horse. But, we did have sheep crap all over our shoes to prove it... :)</span></div></div></div></div></div></div></div></div></div></div>Alairhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14473829775747851107noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30402958.post-12818547525904021242007-09-20T11:14:00.000-07:002007-09-20T11:27:10.865-07:00<span style="font-family:georgia;color:#3366ff;">hi everyone...</span><br /><span style="color:#3366ff;">i hope this email finds you all doing well. about a week ago, i received an email about one of my good friends from Westmont (Christina Ahmann- some of you might know her). she and i were RA's together and our whole RA staff was extremely close, like a family. i was completely shocked and so grieved to find out that she has a brain tumor and is going to be undergoing surgery tomorrow. my heart broke when i read about this huge life change, how she has to shave her head, how her life might be cut short, how scary this must be... but this amazing woman is one of the strongest people i know. i wanted to share her words with you all and ask for you to pray fervently for her tonight and tomorrow. i have learned so much from her already...</span><br /><span style="color:#3366ff;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:georgia;color:#3366ff;">"Oh Lord,I love you with all my HEART, SOUL, and STRENGTH... Never have I experienced such desperate dependence on you. Never have I been in a more difficult place. But Never have I felt so at peace. Never have I experienced such richness in worshp, in conversations with those around me.... and in the intimacy between you and me, that cradles my head to your heart. Thank you Lord for all these "nevers"... I wouldn't trade them and I never want to go back! Heavenly Father I give you full control of this situation... because I KNOW it is ordained by you... and I know my own personal strength would have failed me the moment I caught a glimpse of that crazy huge tumor up on that screen! Oh Lord, I need you. And I love to need you!</span><br /><span style="color:#3366ff;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:georgia;color:#3366ff;">My number one prayer Lord, remains the same. I pray that this situation touches all who encounter it for your glory. I have no idea why the story has spread so far and wide for little old me... but to become shy and timid about that would almost be disobedience and not trusting your sovereignty. I trust Lord that this happened to me for a reason, and it happened at this time for a reason--and so many people are involved in this for a reason! I ask, Lord, for boldness in conversation with everyone I encounter from family and friends, to doctors, nurses, receptionists. I pray that I never have to search for words, but you pour them from my lips saying exactly what you need to say to people to touch them in their own lives. I pray that my body and presence can be a beacon of your light that radically changes people as only you can do. No matter the outcome after the surgery Lord... I pray this never changes. Somehow even if I am severely altered or hurting physically, I pray your JOY and PEACE never leave me. Nothing of my own strength can accomplish that Lord..... and so here I am again on my knees desperately dependent on you..."</span><br /><span style="color:#3366ff;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:georgia;color:#3366ff;">Also, I thought this was great- she had to fill out a medical form and here's what she wrote:</span><br /><span style="font-family:georgia;color:#3366ff;">What is your condition: Brain Tumor</span><br /><span style="font-family:georgia;color:#3366ff;">What have you done for this so far: Tylenol, Ibuprofen, Massage, PhysicalTherapy, Nothing has helped</span><br /><span style="font-family:georgia;color:#3366ff;">Yes she even added the smiley face.</span>Alairhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14473829775747851107noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30402958.post-23621870723103594942007-09-09T12:47:00.000-07:002008-12-09T13:32:59.133-08:00<span style="font-family:georgia;color:#3366ff;">In my last blog, I shared my experience of meeting fellow travelers on a backpacking trip and their encouragement to look for your “blind spot”. As strange as that may sound, I took myself to task and was determined to find it. So, this backpacking trip became more than just a journey through the Sierras, following a map from one lake to another. I wanted to know more about myself, even if that meant looking for the blind spots – those parts that may seem to ugly/embarrassing/shameful to admit.<br /><br />Each day of the trip, we would wake up, enjoy a wonderful breakfast of oatmeal a<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiX3KarrMKXBpvcjCs2bCA17ldDcR1Q7gIARuI3jzyuUBFSv-Pg5PvSByHduvj74VE65Z5sRE4zbyk3uYqqQkM15AvLUZTmUdFJaMMoatEdsFgDR1nJZdd6iLIyrrNVuLkDz9V_fg/s1600-h/swim4.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5108293915950931890" style="FLOAT: right; MARGIN: 0px 0px 10px 10px; CURSOR: hand" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiX3KarrMKXBpvcjCs2bCA17ldDcR1Q7gIARuI3jzyuUBFSv-Pg5PvSByHduvj74VE65Z5sRE4zbyk3uYqqQkM15AvLUZTmUdFJaMMoatEdsFgDR1nJZdd6iLIyrrNVuLkDz9V_fg/s200/swim4.jpg" border="0" /></a>nd instant coffee, pack up camp and set out for the day’s hike. Some days we talked on the hike, some days were spent in silence…and the silence was refreshing. It was like we each got our own time to think and reflect, and then we shared what we learned at the end of the day. During these moments of deafening silence, I quickly found my blind spot: I realized that what people think about me has a huge impact on what I think about myself. I need other people to make me feel good. This may not seem to be such a revolutionary concept, yet for me to actually admit that was so painful and so necessary. This idea began to unravel and create a domino effect in my mind: if I need people’s approval, then what am I doing to gain that approval? Do I really know myself or only what other people say about me? What happens when I don’t get that approval? It was pretty scary to answer these questions honestly.<br /><br />The good thing about finding your blind spot is that once you know where it is, you know how to check it every so often. My friends Abby and Sarah helped me along this journey and truly loved me just as I am. They saw me when I was tired and dirty and hadn’t really showered in a while, yet they consistently reminded me that who I am, who I was created to be, is beautiful.<br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjmNqRHWg1v8nRbki4EaUCoJwyFYr-6BeH39gyAzE-Uo2FtZNioF_zvD25MXRtvcMEDFzRUI7EeXNmoDj0QcbVAD4WADFI-odE4_QLLTiXZ8ViyB4rfdrwn1KjRC2U0afXV9hLZgA/s1600-h/swim2.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5108294143584198594" style="FLOAT: left; MARGIN: 0px 10px 10px 0px; CURSOR: hand" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjmNqRHWg1v8nRbki4EaUCoJwyFYr-6BeH39gyAzE-Uo2FtZNioF_zvD25MXRtvcMEDFzRUI7EeXNmoDj0QcbVAD4WADFI-odE4_QLLTiXZ8ViyB4rfdrwn1KjRC2U0afXV9hLZgA/s200/swim2.jpg" border="0" /></a>On the last day of our trip, we woke up early to watch the sunrise. I had been reading “Blue Like Jazz” by Donald Miller throughout the trip and the chapter I read that morning was just so incredibly perfect and timely. He writes about a trip he took to the Grand Canyon and the epiphany he had while sleeping out under the stars. His thoughts and circumstances completely paralleled mine:<br /><br />“There is something beautiful about a billion stars held steady by a God who knows what he is doing…And as I lay there, it occurred to me that God is up there somewhere. Of course, I had always known He was, but this time I felt it… I know a little of why there is blood in my body, pumping life into my limbs and thought into my brain. I am wanted by God. He is wanting to preserve me…”<br /><br />This was huge for me: to realize that I am wanted by God, that I am valued, that I have friends who want me too. This is what I was meant to find on my trip and I am so, so thankful that I have friends who help me along the way. My prayer for you is that you would know this too, that it would sink deep into your mind and heart and that you would know that I want to be that friend that reminds you of this too…<br /><br />Much love…<br />alair</span>Alairhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14473829775747851107noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30402958.post-44218133860225225402007-07-17T14:32:00.000-07:002008-12-09T13:32:59.668-08:00<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjE-061_aqUUGFiGSNWUHszEA6pCqwjTAmx7nWVroiFoFfe5f-FdZbnMRsWafJJip9CW-lw9juSO52fqIcc7ys036MtM_s1bcgXDqV926IITqgZW_c_N9lhfttlmMLM7HPt1qOlNw/s1600-h/002_2.JPG"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5090637789701839810" style="FLOAT: right; MARGIN: 0px 0px 10px 10px; CURSOR: hand" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjE-061_aqUUGFiGSNWUHszEA6pCqwjTAmx7nWVroiFoFfe5f-FdZbnMRsWafJJip9CW-lw9juSO52fqIcc7ys036MtM_s1bcgXDqV926IITqgZW_c_N9lhfttlmMLM7HPt1qOlNw/s200/002_2.JPG" border="0" /></a><br /><div><span style="color:#3366ff;">I can't believe that last year, at this time, I was somewhere in South Africa playing with kids or painting a church or teaching in the schools. This summer's adventure wasn't nearly as far, yet it was life-changing in a completely different way. This year, two of my close girlfriends and I decided to go backpacking in the Sierras. Now, this wasn't your basic "build-a-tent-and-roast-smores" camping; this was "pump-your-own-water-and-carry-your-freeze-dried-food" kind of camping. And it was amazing. </span><span style="color:#3366ff;">To go along with my theme of "learning from friends", I want to share a transformational lesson that I learned on our trip from a very unexpected friend. </span><br /><div><br /></div><br /><div><span style="color:#3366ff;">On our second day, we randomly met a group of three backpackers who asked to take our picture along the trail. Since my friend's camera battery was almost gone, we thought it was a great idea and then asked them to email us with the pictures. As we talked more, we came to find out that one of the men in the group is the outdoor journalist for the San Francisco Chronicle. He is a well-known author, backpacker and typical "outdoorsman", and has written countless books and articles all about his journeys in the wilderness. (He was even hired to go find Bigfoot). He even interviewed us for an article he's writing!</span></div><br /><div><span style="color:#3366ff;">As we sat an<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhg9T8j4XVj8xq6Nc20-4F50T-zYIcFpuBAHgSldKuf31pruM9WYAFWsd0fr6iNGv762WyS3zdTfOvK8nl2N1xLzz3rV7o7jVo2SdgXvZQ_CoiFA1FuwYXeMLd9FMBEbMHkn7ZLZw/s1600-h/028_28.JPG"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5090637042377530274" style="FLOAT: left; MARGIN: 0px 10px 10px 0px; CURSOR: hand" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhg9T8j4XVj8xq6Nc20-4F50T-zYIcFpuBAHgSldKuf31pruM9WYAFWsd0fr6iNGv762WyS3zdTfOvK8nl2N1xLzz3rV7o7jVo2SdgXvZQ_CoiFA1FuwYXeMLd9FMBEbMHkn7ZLZw/s200/028_28.JPG" border="0" /></a>d talked with these three men, we found ourselves soaking up their stories and knowledge and love for nature. The truly had an appreciation for the beauty and magnificence of nature, and it was contagious. We all agreed that trips like these were so refreshing because you were able to get away from noise and schedules and the hectic pace of life. Then, the journalist made a comment that I will never forget: "When you take trips out here and get away from everything, things come up that you didn't realize. Everyone has a blindspot, and you won't see it until you get out here." For the rest of the trip, almost every moment I had to think and reflect, I kept wondering, "what is my blindspot?"</span></div><br /><div><span style="color:#3366ff;">The week prior to our trip, the pastor at church was talking about self-deception. We all have vices in our lives that we either don't see or refuse to see, and the hurried pace of daily life keeps these in the background. Being out in the middle of the wilderness, surrounded by silence and peace and creation, I had no choice but to look at my blindspots. Do I like admitting them? No. Do I like recognizing that I'm self-centered or need attention or feel lonely? No. Does that bring healing? Painfully, it does. Thankfully, I had two incredible friends with me to help me walk through this, and I'll share more about that next time.</span></div><br /><div><span style="color:#3366ff;">My prayer is that you would take the time to get away and look for your blindspots. Some may be just over your shoulder; others might be buried deep. I know how uncomfortable and strange this feels, yet hope comes when you know yourself more fully... </span></div><div><span style="color:#3366ff;"></span></div><div><span style="color:#3366ff;">much love, my friends...</span></div><div><span style="color:#3366ff;">alair</span></div></div>Alairhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14473829775747851107noreply@blogger.com0